TN: Thank Nepper for the chapter. Bonus chapters end on the 97th. Currently.
Everyone laughs.
Everyone cries.
It might be a general thought that everyone is like that, but at least living while laughing and crying is what makes us human.
When angry, we get furious.
We fall in love, and we receive love.
These were the most primal emotions possessed by the creature called humans, and all of these things made up what it means to be one.
Yes, humans are like that.
But dolls don’t do that.
They don’t laugh, don’t cry, don’t get angry, don’t love.
Joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure.
All of it.
For dolls, it’s only done according to the master’s orders.
Dolls don’t question.
Why should they laugh? Why should they cry? Why should they get angry? Why should they love?
There was no reason for dolls to question any of it.
It has been like that until now and in the future…
It will probably continue to be so.
That was the fate of a doll.
***
Pamela smiled again today.
That was the secret to maintaining good relationships with the academy students.
When she, who already had a cute face, smiled, people also smiled back at her.
The difference was that while they felt genuine happiness looking at her, Pamela’s smile held no emotion.
Laugh when happy, cry when sad, get angry when mad. These simple expressions of emotion that came easily to others were difficult for Pamela. No, rather than difficult, she consciously didn’t reveal her feelings.
Even when she laughed, she wasn’t truly happy because she was always sad.
No one knew that beneath the surface of Pamela, who seemed brighter than anyone, her insides were rotting blacker than anyone else’s.
“…What are you doing?”
Except for one person.
Even as she smiled with no one around, her face suddenly soured after hearing his voice.
Turning her gaze to him, who was slightly frowning as if upset by her appearance, Pamela could only let out a deep sigh.
“What?”
He shook his head at her cold voice, so different from the person who had just been chatting brightly with students in a lark-like voice.
Every time he shook his head, his hair, red as if it were on fire, swayed.
At the same time, his black eyes sparkled like an abyss one might fall into if not careful. Despite living outdoors, his skin was snow-white without a single blemish, and his nose was straight.
Pamela, who had been staring blankly at Felix’s face, which looked like that of a healthy, pretty boy, also shook her head like him.
“Why are you shaking your head?”
“Do I need your permission to shake my own head?”
“Why is Pam Pam only prickly to me?”
“… Don’t call me that.”
On the surface, they seemed to be growling at each other like sworn enemies, but every word Felix uttered was light.
Pamela was also not wearing a mask and speaking her raw thoughts, but she didn’t seem to have any ill feelings towards him.
In fact, if seen up close, it could be considered just a conversation between close friends.
“What did you come to say?”
Pamela had learned from experience that there was nothing good to come from arguing with Felix, so she let out a faint sigh.
At her question, mixed with a heavy sigh, Felix exclaimed, “Ah!” as if he had just remembered something he had forgotten.
“Have you eaten?”
“…No, I haven’t.”
It was lunchtime.
But Pamela narrowed her eyes and answered, finding it strange that he, who always ate with girls like Sylvia or Helena, was suddenly asking her.
“Then let’s go eat.”
“Why don’t you eat with your friends?”
After making up, or something like it, with Helena, he had started hanging out again as a trio with Sylvia, Helena, and himself.
Occasionally, to prevent nagging from Marquis Degrosis, Pamela also joined that group, but it wasn’t always.
Pamela spoke sharply, thinking there must be some ulterior motive, but Felix calmly replied.
“They’re not hereee. I have to eat alone today.”
“Why are you suddenly talking like that? And besides, do you think I’m someone who eats with you?”
Felix’s answer irritated Pamela.
She only thought about giving a harsh word to this rascal who never looked for her usually but only came when he had no one to eat with.
“But eating alone is lonely.”
“Bah! Why should I care?!”
Pamela shouted at Felix’s muttering, who looked gloomy at the thought of eating alone and then sighed deeply.
‘Well, it’s about time to show that person anyway.’
Marquis Degrosis had acknowledged Crown Princess Ashillya as Felix’s official partner, but that didn’t mean he accepted being pushed aside by Helena or Sylvia.
In fact, the Marquis was urging Pamela to narrow the gap in her relationship with Felix now that Ashillya was not at the academy.
Remembering this fact again, she nodded to Felix as if resigned.
“Fine, let’s go.”
“Okay. Let’s go quickly.”
Felix’s leisurely and glib nodding, as if he knew this would happen, was annoying, but there was nothing Pamela could do.
Only.
“Yeah… Ack?!”
She could only jab Felix’s annoying side hard.
As Felix, caught by the unexpected attack, clutched his side and uttered a strange cry, Pamela finally smiled as if satisfied.
“If you don’t come quickly, I’ll leave without you.”
“Ow, let’s go together…!”
“What’s for lunch at the cafeteria today?”
“You should find that out yourself.”
Although Pamela didn’t know well herself, when she was having this meaningless conversation with Felix, her expression…
Looked more peaceful than ever.
***
In fact, although Pamela grumbled that Felix only looked for her when he needed her, he sought out her quite often.
Aside from these two, she was likely the first person he’d look for.
Of course, Pamela wasn’t unaware of this fact.
But it wasn’t strange that she wanted to vent her frustrations somewhere. That’s how much pressure Marquis Degrosis was putting on her.
Letters from him arrived three or four times a week.
He had never been like this before, which proved how urgent he felt the relationship with Felix was.
For Pamela, who knew that Marquis Degrosis had planted eyes around her, Felix approaching first was great news.
She didn’t need to approach him first, which was troublesome, and she didn’t have to do things she found annoying and reluctant.
Nevertheless, Pamela didn’t welcome this situation simply because of her rebelliousness against the Marquis.
Rebelliousness against her circumstances where she didn’t want to live as he dictated but had no choice but to do so.
When Felix approached her first like this, letters from Marquis Degrosis didn’t arrive. That alone eliminated a significant amount of stress Pamela was under.
“…”
Returning to her room, Pamela let out a small sigh as she took off her stuffy outer clothes and hung them on a chair.
She rubbed her bloated stomach, having eaten more than usual due to dining with Felix, and then her expression hardened as she checked the note on her desk.
On top of that note, or rather letter, the emblem of the Degrosis family was clearly stamped.
“Ha.”
How long did he intend to monitor her every move, and how long would he continue to oppress her like this to control her as he pleased?
The more she thought about it, the more Pamela felt like her breath was being choked off.
But as always, all she could do was check the letter. She picked up the letter from the desk and opened it, taking steady breaths.
Neat and rigid letters were engraved on the snow-white paper, just like his personality.
[Visit the family soon. If possible, come with him.]
Despite not having seen each other for a long time, there were no greetings between him and her.
But Pamela didn’t think it was disappointing. Rather, if such things had been written, that would have been more chilling.
“Come with him?”
Pamela frowned and muttered, reading the phrase written in the letter again.
She couldn’t understand the Marquis’ words asking her to visit the family with Felix. Did he think Felix would just follow along if he said so without even explaining the reason?
Biting her lower lip at his incomprehensible request, Pamela pondered for a long time on how to tell Felix.
But making such worries meaningless…
“Hm? Okay, sure.”
He accepted the request as if it were nothing.
Translator’s Corner
I’ve been waiting for this arc.
-Ruminas