I Have Returned, but I Cannot Lay down My Gun
Chapter 86 Table of contents

[Triki Personal Community - Yujin]

[General] I’ve reached a point where I can no longer bear this with just fan loyalty…

<A picture of countless clips and videos stored in a computer folder>

Yujin, please stop being so good at this game… If I were to edit all the kill clips into 10-minute videos, I could make more than 20 of them….

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Sigh.

Even though I sank deeply into my gaming chair, the fatigue didn’t easily fade away.

Balancing university and running a fansub—short for a fan-subtitle space, a mix of "fan" and "YourSpace"—was a challenging task, no matter how much I admired Yujin.

In some ways, it felt like walking a tightrope. A single misstep, and I’d have to give up one or the other. But with the weight piling up on one side of the balance beam in real-time, the situation was starting to get troublesome.

I couldn’t help but wonder if I should have left things alone.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I forced my eyes open and focused on the YourSpace stats.

Yujin, a top-tier firebrand thrown onto the firepit known as Dark Zone, naturally set everything related to her ablaze. This was a ripple effect that even the fansub couldn’t escape.

In simple terms, the views on the edited videos I had created for my fan account were skyrocketing.

Of course, there was no revenue. It was purely a fan space. Even with over 10,000 subscribers and video views averaging over 100,000, there were no crumbs falling my way.

The comment section was always a refined chaos. People who knew Yujin, those who stumbled upon the videos through the algorithm, and recently, foreign reactions that had started trickling in one by one.

Sometimes, fights would break out, and it was a hassle to step in and moderate. I had thought about getting some help, but hiring a manager to manage a fan space… that’s just ridiculous.

In any case, it wasn’t always a good thing when things grew beyond my control.

In terms of management and content.

“How many terabytes is all this…?”

How much content could a streamer who started just over a month ago really have?

Even if you assume she streamed ten hours a day without missing a single day, that would only amount to about 300 hours. Virtual reality might have sped things up a bit, so maybe it was closer to 500 hours, but even that was a stretch.

And yet, even during that time, there were hundreds of clips and super plays. If you consider what appeared on other streamers' and YourSpace accounts—not that I needed to dig for them—the amount would be beyond imagination.

And all of this was being added to almost daily. Whether she skipped meals to shoot or learned small unit tactics, Yujin literally shredded anyone she faced, regardless of who they were.

Of course, I couldn’t deny that it was pleasing to the eye just to watch.

If even a portion of the ever-increasing views led people to tune into Yujin’s stream, that would be great. The occasional comment thanking me for editing or offering gifts or donations gave me comfort and hope.

After all, I was just another Yujin viewer—jokingly part of the "tail team"—and simply watching her streams was a joy.

But sometimes, desires would start to creep up.

Condensing the fatigue of the day and the wishes hidden deep in my heart, I exhaled deeply and muttered to myself.

“Ah… I wish I could be wrapped up in Yujin’s tail….”

There wasn’t any special reason why the tail team was called the tail team.

As always, things around Yujin continued as usual.

Taking on something new is, in a way, like breaking apart the puzzle pieces of your routine and reassembling them.

While I hadn’t specifically set a direction, generally, a new task or job meant something like this. Something that provided a paycheck to sustain my life or allowed me to develop my skills.

So, like a rolling stone displacing a settled stone, I started by cutting out the less prioritized parts. Snipping away like scissors. For example, if the puzzle of exam study entered a routine that included time for naps, the nap portion would be ruthlessly cut away.

Usually, such things are forced upon you.

With that in mind, my life had changed quite a bit from my first night back here.

One new choice led to a schedule involving Dark Zone, which occupied part of my evenings. Another new choice added streaming to the mix. These puzzles overlapped in time.

But I didn’t stop there and grabbed onto the next opportunity that came my way. Though it was temporary, I took on a coaching position at SSM Entertainment. It wasn’t something I had to do, but as always, the world doesn’t run purely on practicality.

It was something I could do just to experience it.

However, once you press the pedal and gain speed, a plateau naturally follows.

When you try something new, you’re usually flooded with tasks at first. But once you’ve dealt with them all, you enter a stage of familiarity. Regardless of how difficult the task is, you eventually develop a way to approach it.

Like hot iron slowly cooling and solidifying.

“…”

Three minutes until the stream starts.

I had settled into a routine. If it was around 7 PM in the real world and nothing else was going on, I would start streaming. How should I put it—it felt like streaming expanded my otherwise limited communication.

Even though it was within virtual reality, the bed was comfortable, and the algorithm, which had somehow analyzed my interests, was showing me a few articles and intriguing stories.

Instead of starting the stream with no thoughts, I would check the latest news and share them with the viewers.

I saw this news today. Do you know about it? This is what’s happening in the world. Or maybe this is some interesting information I found….

As I looked through these, I was reminded that the world indeed runs on countless gears. So many tragedies and comedies, irrationalities and absurdities, laughter and happiness….

I got up and sat in my chair.

The screen came on, and viewers began flooding in.

 

The microphone activated in response to my intention. When I tapped the edge with my finger, the input signal on the right side of the hologram spiked up and down.

The mic test results were normal. I took a small breath and started speaking.

“…Welcome, everyone. Thank you for joining the stream today. It’s almost September, but the weather is still gloomy. At least the temperature is gradually dropping.”

If there wasn’t much to say at the start of the stream or if there wasn’t anything particularly noteworthy, I usually started with a comment about the weather.

It’s a simple topic that everyone can relate to and doesn’t lead to any conflicts. Throwing out one topic was like baiting a hook, and related comments would start pouring in like fish biting. You could say it was like reading real-time comments.

The weather is hot, and the air conditioning costs are high. The humidity is so high that laundry doesn’t dry properly. No matter how many times you shower in a day, you still feel sticky… Unfortunately, these were comments I couldn’t really relate to.

Sorry. Since coming back here, I haven’t had to use the air conditioning. And I dry my laundry in the dryer.

RemiconMian has donated 1,000 KRW.

 

“Thank you, RemiconMian, for the 1,000 won. In that case, I’ll try to move around more stealthily starting tomorrow… Just kidding, of course.”

 

The preliminary rank started yesterday.

Maybe I should have anticipated these reactions. This was becoming a point of concern lately. I’m just an ordinary person, but if all my words and actions are misunderstood, that would be pretty dismal.

In any case, my unexpected appearance on Unreal’s broadcast yesterday naturally spread far and wide. It was predictable enough, but ultimately, I had to bear the brunt of it.

On the other hand, whether it was a positive effect or not, I don’t know, but lately, even when I’m not gaming, my viewer count exceeds 5,000. It must be from people tuning in from all over.

These days, I was living by the day, not by the week, and I could see everything around me growing rapidly. Everything except my own perception.

Since it wasn’t a topic worth dwelling on for long, I decided to talk a bit more.

“…Today, I was browsing the internet and came across a brief article on the evolution of streaming. It mentioned that stream sniping has significantly decreased compared to the past. Is it still common now?”

 

Indeed.

I guess it hasn’t disappeared entirely. It was a rather sudden topic to bring up, but it’s nice to get this kind of information when there are so many people around.

At the same time, I was mentally reviewing the article I read before starting the stream. According to the article, stream snipers proliferate under certain conditions. The tone was almost like introducing mold.

If it’s a team game, where cooperation is crucial, where the role of each individual is significant, and at the same time, where anonymity is strong, making it hard to track down the troll, then that’s a paradise for stream snipers.

Shortly after, many viewers started digging up examples from all over and posting them in my personal community.

In just a few minutes, the page was flooded with examples from the past three months.

“…There are quite a few. If this is the reduced number, I guess I might get sniped someday too?”

 

Eraser has donated 1,000 KRW.

 

“…That’s true. Now that I think about it, you’re right. So stop it now. You guys are hitting too hard with your words.”

I couldn’t help but admit defeat to such a perfect analogy.

No matter how much I had trained my body before coming here, it was hard to win against the sharp tongues honed by the internet. Besides, it was just me against half a million people.

In the end, it wasn’t even a Pyrrhic victory—I just got thoroughly beaten.

After that, the conversation shifted to casual chit-chat. How the matches went today, what content was planned for the future… I answered each one, keeping the interaction going.

Recently, with my personal community becoming more active, a lot of humorous posts were popping up, as well as suggestions for content, game recommendations, and even requests to participate in possible viewer-participation content. I read through them all. Though I couldn’t promise to do everything.

How should I describe it—it felt like raising a plant. Just sprinkle a little water, and it grows on its own.

On top of that, one of the illustrators I recruited from this community started making thumbnails for me—though it’s for a 12-hour video—but it did slightly increase the accessibility of my YourSpace channel.

A tiny bit.

Anyway, among all this, there was one post that had risen to the top of the recommendations since yesterday.

It was tagged as promotional, which usually meant some strange or seemingly useless items or information, so I was curious to see what it was about.

The title was….

“…Ah.”

A short sigh, more of a sound than a sigh.

It wasn’t a feeling of encountering something revolutionary. If I had to categorize it, it was closer to the psychological state you experience when something you’ve been putting off catches up to you, or when you realize much later that you’ve lost your wallet.

So.

If you’re asking what it was….

-[Promotion - Yujin Fan Space,,, I’m humbly trying to promote it to everyone]

Right.

Maybe it was time to start addressing this issue.

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