Ethan suddenly grabbed my arm, pulling me onto the bed, and his hand moved swiftly under my skirt, causing me to feel a surge of panic.

Until now, I had allowed him to touch my chest a few times, but his hand had never ventured below before.

“W-wait, Young Master Ethan!”

“Be quiet, Lillis. Isabel is asleep.”

“That’s not the issue right now… mmmph?!”

Ethan glanced sideways at the servants' quarters where Isabel was sleeping and then silenced me by covering my mouth with his hand. The seriousness of the situation made my heart race with a growing sense of danger.

‘I told him I needed this power until I dealt with McHart!’

I was certain I had explained this, but Ethan's sudden move to take my chastity was something I couldn’t understand. Naturally, I struggled against the threat of losing my virginity so abruptly.

Of course, trying to push off Ethan’s body, which had already pinned me down, with sheer strength was almost impossible, making my resistance seem futile.

My legs were pinned down by Ethan’s lower body, and my left hand was bound by his right hand, rendering me immobile. With his other hand covering my mouth, I was left unable to even call for help. In an instant, my limbs and mouth were completely subdued by him.

-Press.

“……”

-Thud, thud!

“……”

I tried to push Ethan’s body with my free right hand, but he didn’t budge, and even hitting his side with my fist several times didn’t affect him.

I felt bad about hitting him in the face or head, so I just hit his side instead. Using magic to resist in this situation seemed too risky, so I refrained for the time being.

“Lillis.”

“……”

-Nod.

With my mouth covered, I nodded to respond. I thought it might be better to try and resolve this through conversation rather than resisting in a situation like this.

Thankfully, it seemed that Ethan wasn’t entirely intent on assaulting me, as he quietly looked at me with serious eyes, ready to confess something.

“Lillis, the truth is, for a long time, I’ve always thought about this whenever I looked at you.”

“Mmph…?”

“I’ve always feared that one day, Lillis, who is within my reach just by extending my hand, might suddenly leave my side.”

“Mmm….”

“I’ve tried to hold back until now. After all, Lillis, you’ve always been on my side in every situation. Not always, but in most important matters, you’ve valued my opinion over your own, and the proof of your love for me that you occasionally showed allowed me to endure.”

“……”

Considering he had thrown me onto the bed, his words were surprisingly tame. I thought he might forcibly take my virginity in a rush, but instead, Ethan was just holding my mouth shut and conveying what he wanted to say.

Looking at it this way, he didn’t seem like someone who intended to assault me. At least, the current Ethan didn’t exude the same aggressive aura as McHart, who had tried to attack me a month ago.

Not that he didn’t have any of those tendencies, but it felt more like he was fiercely battling between his instincts and reason.

“Do you know how angry I was when I heard that you were almost taken by McHart?”

“……”

“For several days after that, I couldn’t sleep properly. I was terrified that one morning I’d wake up and find that you had suddenly disappeared from my side.”

“……”

“And while I’m still furious enough to tear that bastard apart, the thing that made me the angriest at the time was myself. The thought that I couldn’t protect you and let you fall into danger.”

“……”

“If you were to be taken from me so easily, I thought I might as well just make you mine, Lillis.”

“Mmmp?!”

I couldn’t help but make a surprised sound at Ethan’s shocking confession.

I was a little grateful that he was being honest about his feelings, but it also meant that he was essentially confessing that he had been ready to take me by force at any time.

It was unavoidable that memories of the Ethan I knew so far flashed through my mind in response to this revelation.

“Of course, I’ve been trying to restrain myself. I’ve held back until now because I thought it was more important to win your heart, even if I lost everything else. I believed that winning your heart someday was the most important thing.”

“Mmph… mmmph….”

“But when you keep making me feel conflicted like this, I don’t know what to do. It feels like not only your heart but now even your body is slipping away from me.”

“……”

“Lillis, you once told me that men who let themselves go, don’t even bother with basic manners, and constantly harass women are the worst.”

-Nod.

“After hearing that, I learned the sword from my father and lost weight. I also took etiquette lessons three times a week until just before entering the Academy. And no matter how much you tempted me as if testing me, I never crossed the line you set.”

-…Nod.

“And now you’re telling me you want to join that lecherous Hero’s party? The same Hero who plays around with the Saintess and even Elves? After just a few conversations, has that Hero become more important to you than me?”

-Shake, shake.

I couldn’t agree with his last statement, so I quickly shook my head from side to side to dispel his misunderstanding.

…Okay, I admit it. My actions had caused Ethan to misunderstand, and because of that, he had become so obsessed with me. I could understand that.

It was also my mistake to decide to join the Hero’s party without discussing it with Ethan first. I still had a day to decide whether or not to become the Saintess, so I should have talked to Ethan before accepting the Hero’s offer.

Of course, I couldn’t predict whether Ethan would have reacted the same way, saying it was impossible, or if he would have reluctantly accepted my honesty. But at least we might have avoided this situation if I had handled it differently.

“Lillis, please.”

“……”

“I really don’t want to do anything that would make you hate me. I’m more afraid of you hating me than of hating myself. I’m scared that your eyes will look at me with the same cold and unpleasant gaze you used to have when we were kids.”

“……”

“So please, convince me. Convince me that if I try hard enough, I can win your heart someday. If you can’t say that, I might end up making a terrible decision. I might end up taking your body if I can’t have your heart.”

…What should I do?

Even if he suddenly asked me to convince him, I had no idea what to say. I had never lived a life where I was close to psychology, either in my past life or in this one.

But Ethan, unaware of my struggle, quietly removed his hand from my mouth, leaving me at a loss for words as my lips parted and closed hesitantly.

“……”

“……”

Ethan, who had pinned me down on the bed, waited quietly for my answer, his gaze focused on me. His expression and eyes were so intense that I couldn’t bear to look at him directly.

For some reason, I felt a warm flush rising to my face. It was like the day I first realized that Ethan liked me after he confessed his feelings.

Back then, the emotion I felt from Ethan was simple affection. But now, the emotion I felt from him was obsession and desire. A strong obsession and desire directed at me.

There was no way I could come up with the right words to persuade Ethan while facing such passionate emotions head-on.

“Y-Young Master Ethan…”

“Yes.”

“Could you please let go of my hand for now?”

“Why? Are you planning to run away to the Hero if I let you go?”

“N-no… It’s just that I can’t think clearly with you so close… Could you please move away for a moment?”

“It’s fine. I’ll wait as long as you need. Even if it takes until tomorrow morning, I’ll wait.”

“……”

If this went on until morning, I was sure my mental strength wouldn’t hold out.

But I couldn’t think of anything persuasive to say to Ethan while being so conscious of his gaze.

Even for a short while, I needed to get away from this situation to clear my thoughts….

‘Right, the spirits.’

In that moment, I remembered the existence of the spirits who could assist me, and I mentally called out to Sei, the wind spirit, asking her to separate me and Ethan, even just for a moment.

‘Sei, Sei!’

‘Yes… Lillis…’

‘Please use your magic to separate me from Ethan! Just for a moment!’

‘…I can’t….’

‘Yes, you can! Like when you used wind magic to gently push me during my duel with Agnes….’

‘But… I’ve made a contract… with Lillis….’

‘Yes! You made a contract with me, so you should listen to my requests—’

‘That’s why… I can’t… If it’s something Lillis dislikes….’

‘…What?’

Confused by what she was saying, I was suddenly interrupted by Sally’s voice, who had been listening to my conversation with Sei.

‘That’s right, Lillis. Since we’re contracted, we can’t do anything you dislike.’

‘W-what are you talking about?! I just asked you to separate me from Ethan—’

‘But we can’t help with that because you don’t really want it.’

‘What are you even saying….’

This is hopeless. Judging by their nonsense, these spirits are useless in this situation.

I just asked them to separate me from Ethan for a moment, and they’re saying I don’t want that? What kind of nonsense is that?

As I struggled with the futility of communicating with the spirits, Ethan called out to me again, meeting my eyes.

“What are you thinking so hard about, Lillis?”

“……!!”

“Were you talking to the spirits? Asking them to separate me from you?”

“N-no, Young Master Ethan. I was just deep in thought, trying to organize my thoughts.”

“Alright. Then tell me. Convince me that I can win your heart someday. Please.”

“……”

There’s no way that’s possible.

How could I tell him something so absurd as, “Maybe if you behave, I might fall for you someday”? It was impossible.

While I had learned enough about manners as a maid from Isabel and the head maid, I had never learned how to eloquently persuade someone with convincing words.

…There’s no other choice. I’ll have to use the most effective method instead of trying to find the right words.

As someone who had once been a man, I knew the best way to earn a man’s trust, so I decided to take the first thing that came to mind and act on it.

“…Young Master Ethan.”

“Yes.”

“…I have something to tell you quietly. Could you come a little closer?”

“Sure.”

Ethan, thinking I wanted to whisper something to him, lowered his head toward me, bringing our faces within inches of each other.

-…Smooch.

…Our faces met, and the softest part of both touched for a brief moment.