Shan Yu had an obvious desire for Wan Qiu, but he managed to restrain himself every time.
Wan Qiu thought there was something wrong with Shan Yu’s health. He was too worried about his husband’s dignity to ask directly, so he silently added a lot of tonic ingredients to the soup, which caused someone’s nose to bleed.
That day, Shan Yu looked at the mutton whip soup on the table. No matter how slow he was, he could still sense the purpose. He held Wan Qiu’s hand and considered it: “I’m in good health and everything is normal. You don’t have to change our ways of eating.”
Wan Qiu pursed his lips, thinking that if it wasn’t a physical problem, it would be something else…
Was it because he had been too harsh before? Had it left a psychological shadow on his husband, making him afraid to touch him?
After bathing, Wan Qiu went to bed. His body was white and tender due to the long-term nourishment of Shan Yu. He touched Shan Yu’s knees with his delicate and white feet: “Husband, it’s so cold.”
Shan Yu pulled the quilt over his feet, which were still a little damp, and kept flipping through the book: “It’s almost winter, and it’s getting a bit cold. Let’s put up the brazier tomorrow.”
“Husband,” Wan Qiu laid down next to Shan Yu again, placing his fingers on his waist and abdomen: “What are you reading? Aren’t you going to sleep yet?”
“Are you sleepy?”
“Well, sort of.”
“Then go to sleep.”
Shan Yu threw the book out of the bed tent, and the wind blew out the candlelight. In the darkness of the room, Wan Qiu mustered up the courage to hug Shan Yu’s neck and gave him a slightly clumsy kiss.
Shan Yu was stunned for a moment, closed his eyes, and took the initiative.
The dense kiss spread all over the place, sliding all the way down from the lips and teeth…
“Um~ husband…”
Wan Qiu panted lightly, blushing and heart beating, and pushed Shan Yu’s hand down on his waist…
Between husband and wife, this hint was obvious enough.
For Wan Qiu, the joy and love in his memory were all indelible pain. He was scared and resisted at first, but now that Shan Yu was gentle enough and good enough, good enough for Wan Qiu to forget the previous hurt and look forward to that. Could the intimacy of love be as tender and beautiful as it was now?
Wan Qiu responded enthusiastically to Shan Yu’s kiss, almost using up all his face and courage, but…
Shan Yu clearly had the arrow on the string, but he still had no intention of drawing the bow.
He pulled away, as if he didn’t understand what Wan Qiu meant, and as if he really didn’t want to do it. He lifted up the bed curtain and said, “I’ll relieve myself. You go to sleep first.”
Wan Qiu moved his lips and stared blankly at Shan Yu’s back, speechless.
It was so embarrassing, so disappointing, so aggrieved and so hurtful to his self-esteem.
Wan Qiu huddled under the quilt, arranging his messy middle coat. He breathed a sigh of relief and felt uneasy in his heart. He bit his lip with red eyes and couldn’t figure it out.
Would his husband rather endure it than touch him?
When Shan Yu came back, Wan Qiu was already asleep. He lowered his head and kissed the sleeping person’s eyebrows. He felt a trace of moisture in the darkness that he hadn’t had time to wipe away, and he was stunned.
Later, Wan Qiu no longer forced Shan Yu. He just looked at the fallen leaves outside the window with his little bun in his arms, and his favorite “Dream of Red Mansion” no longer tasted good.
Shan Yu coaxed Wan Qiu: “Why have you been so depressed lately? We haven’t gone out for a long time. I have a day off today. How about we go out and buy some winter clothes?”
Wan Qiu shook his head, looking uninterested: “Many of the ones I bought last year, I didn’t have time to wear.”
“How about I take you to the theater to listen to a book?”
“I don’t want to go.”
“Did I make you unhappy?” Shan Yu set the little bun aside in Wan Qiu’s arms. When he tried to touch his lips, Wan Qiu dodged. Shan Yu sighed softly: “What’s wrong? Speak.”
How could he talk about such things openly?
Wan Qiu found it difficult to speak. He lowered his eyelashes, bit his lip, and shook his head: “It’s nothing. I just don’t know why. I always feel in a bad mood. Husband, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine after a while.”
It was like a long-term illness that eventually healed. When a person became sadder, he learned to comfort himself, then licked the pain alone, and finally healed slowly on his own.
Wan Qiu didn’t want Shan Yu to comfort him. He just needed to be alone and quiet, and then he began to miss the horrible days when Shan Yu had treated him violently when he hadn’t had enough to eat.
At that time, it was just physical pain, but now it was mental pain.
If he could choose, he would have preferred Shan Yu not to have changed, so his heart wouldn’t be so painful.
Shan Yu probably knew why Wan Qiu was unhappy, but how could he comfort him?
He would definitely not use another man’s body to touch the person he liked. He couldn’t do that.
“Let’s go, let’s take you out for a while.”
Shan Yu carried the little bun to the Er Zhu’s store and took Wan Qiu to the theater to listen to a book. He originally wanted to coax Wan Qiu to relax, but he accidentally overheard several tourists at the next table chatting about the capital.
“Speaking of the fact that Imperial Concubine Lian is the favorite in the harem right now. Nowadays, the shuangers and sisters of all the nobles in the capital have cinnabar on their eyebrows and are dressed in red…but they are not even one thousandth as elegant as Imperial Concubine Lian…”
Shan Yu’s ears twitched slightly. He wanted to listen to a few more words, but no one dared to talk about the people and things in the royal family. Several travelers quickly stopped talking about Lian Zhou and turned the topic to storytelling.
“A book is a book and should not be taken seriously, right? This year’s imperial examination champion was so arrogant that he imitated Jia Baoyu in the Red Mansion and refused the princess’s marriage, saying that marriage was independent matter… As a result, the emperor was furious. He was beheaded…”
“Ah? Is this number one scholar stupid? He dares to refuse the princess’s marriage? He deserves to die!”
“Not just the number one scholar, I also heard that some concubine sons imitated Jia Baoyu and competed for the limelight with the legitimate sons and were punished miserably by the madam of the house… These books are just for us common people to listen to. Those aristocratic families do not allow the children of the clan to read these books… and since the incident with the number one scholar, no one near the capital dared to mention these books…”
“Really?”
“Yes…”
Shan Yu pondered for a long time, and after going home and reading the ending of “Dream of The Red Mansion,” he immediately started burning books.
Wan Qiu was shocked: “Husband, what are you doing? Why are you burning a good book?”
Shan Yu tore up the book in his hand and said without raising his head: “This book has become banned in the capital, and we can’t keep it. You and grandpa, please don’t go to the theater again…”
Wan Qiu and Grandpa Yaba were puzzled. Just as they were wondering, Er Zhu walked in holding the whimpering little bun.
“The child is crying for his mother. Wan Qiu, hurry up and hold him in your arms… Hey? Shan Yu, what are you doing? Why are you burning books too?”
“Yeah?” Shan Yu heard the important point, stopped burning the book, raised his eyes, and asked Er Zhu: “Who else is burning them?”
“Yu Hua.”
Yu Hua was Er Zhu’s new wife and the cousin of an official. There was definitely a reason why he was burning books.
Later, it turned out that Shan Yu’s intuition had been right.
Four months later, on Wan Qiu’s birthday, the government suddenly closed down the theater and began searching for books from house to house.