I Have Returned, but I Cannot Lay down My Gun
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Chapter 190 Table of contents

“Wow, this really makes me feel like I’m part of the team.”

“You are a partner streamer, right? If you weren’t part of the team, that’d be a problem.”

“True.”

How did we end up here?

Normally, by now, we’d be in Hotteok’s car, probably stuck in traffic trying to cross the Han River, complaining about how long it’d take to reach Gangnam. But here we were, still walking inside the stadium building.

Of course, it was a relief not having to struggle through the packed crowds of Yongsan. In fact, I liked it. The reason I was feeling this way could be summed up in one word: surreal. The whole experience felt so unreal.

The journey here wasn’t bad either.

“Will you be there to open the door, Eugene?”

“Okay!”

Honestly, it felt like I was really part of the team now.

It might be a weird comparison, but it reminded me of the secret entrances you see in movies—the kind that lead to hidden research labs inside unassuming cottages. It was like living out that fantasy. My friends seemed to be feeling the same way.

“Harmony here can’t seem to function whenever Eugene is mentioned.”

…That was just noise. Background noise. Anyway, while thousands of people were leaving the arena and the staff were busy clearing the main stage of chairs and cleaning up the trash, we headed up to the central stage.

We made eye contact with a few people along the way, and since we were all partner streamers, there were some who recognized us. We exchanged greetings and kept walking toward the right side of the stage, following the instructions.

Sure enough, we found a door with “Staff Only” written on it, next to a card reader. I tapped the card key hanging around my neck, and the light blinked green, followed by the sound of the lock clicking open.

“All right, let’s go, guys.”

“I’m kind of nervous…”

“Well, when else would you get a chance like this, Hyun-ah?”

“I guess…”

As we passed through the door, KimStone, still processing everything, nudged Limit with her foot, shaking her head with an incredulous smile.

“We’re going to meet Eugene, you idiot. She’s under an embargo, and you think we wouldn’t be nervous? What if she turns out to be way scarier than Hotteok?”

“Wait, she’s an ability user too, right? Do you think she’s a White Tiger like me?”

“Ow… Why isn’t Harmony saying anything? She’s already met Eugene and hasn’t told us a thing!”

“Hehehe.”

How could I explain?

Even though I knew what was coming, I had to keep my lips sealed. I could only imagine how they’d react in a few minutes, and I was already excited. It felt like keeping a juicy secret—except, in this case, it was more like “Eugene’s got a giant snake tail instead of legs,” and I couldn’t wait to see their reactions.

But I had to be careful. I couldn’t spill anything about Eugene’s identity before she revealed herself. That was the rule.

Even though Eugene clearly wasn’t concerned—after all, she invited them herself—it was still important to draw the line. If I let a few hints slip here and there, I might accidentally reveal too much, and once you let something like that out, it’s hard to keep it in during streams or other public interactions.

“We’re here. We just need to wait by the glass door.”

“Oh, is Eugene coming out herself?”

“I thought so, but sadly, no.”

As we arrived at the gate, we found a glass door with frosted tape over it, preventing us from seeing inside. I wondered if we should knock, but there was a call button on the wall. Still on the phone with Eugene, I unmuted the line and called out to her. The door slid open as if someone had been waiting.

A staff member in uniform approached and gave us simple directions.

“Just follow the hallway straight to the elevator. Take it down to B2. Dinner will be a buffet, so feel free to eat as much as you like.”

“How should we leave afterward?”

“Someone will guide you through the passage connected to the underground parking lot.”

“Oh, thank you.”

The moment we stepped in, the atmosphere changed dramatically.

Unlike the plain hallway we’d just come from, the interior beyond the glass door had a more futuristic, sleek design—though it was a bit more subdued. Along the walls, various doors led to different rooms, some of them marked with familiar national flags. One door with the South Korean flag was half open, and through the gap, we could see equipment scattered around—probably the national team’s waiting room.

My friends were clearly thinking the same thing.

“Wow, is this the waiting room? Is Eugene in there?”

“Don’t even think about peeking. I can hear your eyeballs moving.”

“Think there are dumbbells inside?”

“Cut it out.”

…They were way too much sometimes.

The elevator arrived quickly, and despite the building’s size, it moved fast. It reached the fifth floor from the basement in no time. The doors opened a little slower than expected, but the interior was just as spotless as the rest of the place.

Once everyone got in, the doors closed, and I noticed that my friends were a bit tense. Even Hotteok, who was also an ability user—though an E2-ranked one—seemed on edge, knowing they were about to meet Eugene.

The nervous energy sparked a round of teasing.

“Wow, you’re an ability user too, and you’re still so jumpy.”

“It’s all about being a fan, okay? You don’t get it. You suck at Dark Zone, so you wouldn’t understand how awesome Eugene’s playstyle is.”

“You got crushed by Harmony, remember?”

“Just because I lost to Harmony doesn’t mean I’m worse than you.”

After a bit more back-and-forth, the conversation quieted down.

That’s when they turned to me.

“So, Harmony, where’s Eugene waiting for us?”

“Oh, um, I’ll ask.”

The elevator began to slow down. I wasn’t sure if the connection would hold, but I unmuted the phone again and asked.

“Eugene, we’re almost at B2. Where should we go once we’re out?”

I relayed the message just as the doors slid open.

And right there in front of us was… a snake’s tail.

It was floating in midair, lazily swaying. The moment I recognized it, I looked up to meet a pair of sharp blue eyes. The sapphire gaze swept over all of us, and the snake tail curled into an arch.

Standing beside the tail was another familiar figure—someone we’d all seen in countless videos, but never expected to meet in person.

While everyone else was still processing what they were seeing, I was the first to speak.

“She’s here.”

Laughter filled the elevator as my friends finally realized what was happening.

I mean, I wasn’t wrong.

“…Wow, that really shocked me. I thought she was just an avatar.”

“Haha, I get that. When I first met Harmony and Dice, they reacted the same way. Dice even fell over.”

“Why’d you have to bring that up!?”

“Ahaha.”

The clattering of dishes and the buzz of conversations filled the dining hall.

Dozens of voices blended together into a single hum of emotions—laughter, excitement, tension—all merging into the air. The conversation was flowing smoothly, as expected. After all, everyone here had compatible personalities, and we had a common interest in Dark Zone. There was really no reason to worry.

Even so, I felt a little out of place. Everyone here, except for Dice, was a natural at interacting with people, with huge followings of their own. I, on the other hand, wasn’t sure I quite fit in.

And then, the evidence of their compatibility showed itself.

“So I was just exhausted and lying down on one of the makeshift beds in the safe zone, and then I went to grab some water. And guess what? Eugene just walks down, all casual, and I ran over, yelling, ‘Eugene! Please party with me!’ And that’s how it all started.”

“Yeah, that Dark Zone tutorial is no joke. I first met her in a scrim match, and, well… I got absolutely destroyed. But looking back, it was kind of a blessing in disguise.”

“Right, right! Did you see my early Dark Zone videos? Thanks to Eugene carrying me, I somehow made it to HQ alive. I thought I was done for.”

“Of course I saw them. Eugene’s skills were unreal even back then. But oh man, when she caught that falling magazine with her snake tail, that cracked me up. You were so freaked out!”

“Yeah, well, now I kind of think the tail is… pretty cool.”

“I totally get what you mean.”

…They were getting way too chummy, way too fast.

And just as the conversation was heading into more inappropriate territory, I gently tapped Harmony on the head with my tail. She let out a startled squeak and looked up, eyes wide in surprise.

Maybe I shouldn’t have done that. I could have just spoken up instead.

“Whoa… Your tail is huge.”

“Ah.”

“W-Wait, it’s real!?”

Sigh.

I let out a long breath before replying.

“Let’s stop talking about the tail.”

“Aw, why?!”

One glance at their questioning faces was enough to deflate them. To me, it was just an inconvenient appendage that made it hard to sit or lie down comfortably. What’s the big deal?

Sure, people are always fascinated by things that are big and move around, but let’s steer the conversation in another direction.

“So, did you enjoy today’s match?”

“Oh, yes! It was amazing! I didn’t expect everyone to be so skilled. Even the Russians and Japanese, who were flying high last year, couldn’t hold a candle to the Korean players.”

Limit leaned in, checking to see if anyone was nearby, and spoke quietly.

“…It was a bit satisfying, to be honest. After seeing all 10 of the top spots filled by Korean players in the first match, I thought, ‘Yep, five players will be advancing this year.’”

“I’m glad it left such an impression. After KSM, we didn’t even have a full month to prepare, so as a coach, I wasn’t sure how it would turn out. Hearing that makes me feel like the hard work paid off.”

“…Wait, you coached them directly!?”

“Yes.”

Come to think of it, that detail wasn’t exactly public knowledge.

There was a moment where I quickly considered if this was something I could talk about, but… hmm. I realized I might get hassled later if I didn’t keep it under wraps. I put a finger to my lips, signaling for them to keep it “off the record,” and they all nodded, almost automatically.

While some viewers might have guessed after watching the broadcast, it’s one thing for a few people to speculate, and another for the entire internet to know. I wasn’t ready to quit streaming just because I had too many viewers.

As the conversation continued, our meal slowly picked up pace. We settled into a rhythm where one person would get up for food, and everyone would follow. After doing that a couple of times, though, it started to feel a bit awkward, so we decided to just pile up our plates all at once.

Luckily, or maybe unluckily, there hadn’t been much time for exercise today because of the match, and I didn’t need as many calories. So, I ate a little less than usual.

Once we finished our plates and returned them, the conversation resumed.

“So, are you going home now?”

“Unfortunately, no. There are still a lot of restrictions…”

“The arena has built-in accommodations, so we can stay here for a night or two without any issues. They did the same thing last year.”

Dice’s explanation filled in the gaps.

It was clear that Dice, being more experienced, knew a lot more than I did. After that brief exchange, we found ourselves in a moment of silence. Dice looked at me, as if wondering why I wasn’t saying anything. I shook my head slightly, signaling that I was leaving the explanation to her.

Of course, it didn’t matter. They were curious about me, not Dice.

I checked the time. It was 7:16 p.m. The schedule for the day had ended at 6, and we’d finished eating just a few minutes ago. Not much time had passed.

Considering it would take a while for the crowds outside to clear, I figured this would be a good opportunity to indulge their curiosity.

After a quick consultation with Harmony’s group, I stepped aside to confer with Dice. We decided that as long as the questions weren’t too sensitive, it wouldn’t be a problem. They were smart enough to know what was appropriate.

Addressing the group, I added, “Since we’ve got some time, how about we do a little Q&A? Anyone have pressing plans?”

Of course, no one did.

I had a feeling that would be the case.

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