I Have Returned, but I Cannot Lay down My Gun
Chapter 191 Table of contents

"…So, Harmony has been training under Eugene for almost two months now?"

"Yeah, that’s about right."

"Then you’re practically a senior! Oh, almighty senior, please accept my humble respects!"

"Ah, come on, stop it."

It was 8 PM.

Even two hours after the match had ended, the TV was still broadcasting news about the traffic jam caused by the massive crowd in Yongsan. Meanwhile, Dice, Harmony’s crew, and I gathered in the lounge, engaging in what could only loosely be called a Q&A—it was more like a casual chat.

To be honest, it didn’t hold much significance. It wasn’t being streamed, and even though these guys were streamers, they weren’t live right now. The conversation was partly off the record too, so it felt more like a laid-back discussion to kill time while waiting for the crowds to thin out.

Harmony, having apparently decided that today’s goal was to bond with Dice, was venting about all the "suffering" she’d endured during training under me. Most of it was about the rigorous training I’d put her through, but as long as they didn’t start comparing who had it worse, I didn’t mind.

I turned my attention back to the others. Limit, KimStone—who had asked to be called Hyun-ah—and Hotteok, Harmony’s fellow streamers, were clearly curious about how I’d managed to whip Harmony into shape so quickly.

"Have you seen any of the interviews Dice or I have done? I think we mentioned some of the basics there."

"Yeah, I vaguely remember… So, you really gave Harmony that detailed of an analysis too? That’s amazing. Doesn’t that take forever?"

"It can, but there was only one person to focus on back then. Preparing for the Asian preliminaries this time, though, was a different story. We had 18 people to analyze, and four weeks felt way too short."

Four weeks, but realistically, the first two were filled with rest, ads, and other scheduling conflicts, so I had to complete the analysis of one person each day. Without the help of analysis engines and the experience I’d built up over time, it would’ve taken twice as long. But I kept that part to myself.

The conversation drifted back to Harmony.

"If I had to explain it simply, I try to balance a person’s skills like a polygon stat sheet. My role is to quickly help them fill in the gaps where they’re lacking."

I sipped from my chocolate frappe, which I’d ordered from one of the cafes inside the stadium.

"Harmony… well, she was lacking in pretty much every area, which is expected since she was a complete beginner. So, I focused on toughening her up through hands-on training to sharpen her instincts and tactical maneuvers. Whatever couldn’t be learned through practice, we made up for with as many drills as possible."

"So it was basically an intensive one-on-one course. And I heard you two tackled all the main missions on the highest difficulty? Just the two of you?"

"That’s right."

At least 8 hours a day, sometimes up to 12.

With that level of effort, it was impossible for her not to improve. Regardless of personal traits like gender, hard work could bring anyone to a higher level. While some people might hit their limit sooner than others, if you put in the right amount of effort, you could reach the top tier.

I’d provided the support, and Harmony had seized the rope I threw her. Of course, according to her, I didn’t just throw the rope—I dragged her up with it. But hey, results are what matter.

"Does that answer your questions?"

"Yeah, it does, but hearing the whole story… I don’t think I could ever follow that."

"Haha."

In the end, it all boils down to persistence: if it doesn’t work, keep pushing until it does.

That’s how it goes with anything in life that seems difficult.

Still, they had more questions.

"So, how good is Harmony now?"

"Well, it’s still too early to say for sure."

If I were to make a rough estimate, with another two months of training, she wouldn’t be getting beaten up by anyone. She’d be top-tier, at least in Korea. When it came to the game, at least, she was already there. In real-life scenarios, though, there was still a long way to go. But that wasn’t something she’d need to worry about—she wouldn’t have to deal with mountains, swamps, deserts, rivers, survival skills, or skydiving any time soon.

The conversation veered off a bit, so I thought I’d make things clearer for them.

"Another two or three months, and she’ll be good enough that no one will say she’s lacking."

"Wait… ‘good enough’ for what? You don’t mean pro-level, right?"

"Haha."

Whether or not she’d go pro would be up to her. But with proper training, I wouldn’t rule it out. After all, training is designed to turn regular people into something close to human weapons.

As we continued chatting, someone brought up a curious topic.

"Has Harmony mentioned anything about a streamer tournament?"

"First I’ve heard of it."

"Ah, I see."

I glanced at Harmony.

She avoided my gaze. Specifically, I was the one who turned away first. If she really needed my help, she would’ve mentioned it by now. Since she hadn’t, it wasn’t my business.

Of course, if the topic came up later, I’d offer my help. But for now, it seemed like I didn’t need to get involved.

Still, I was curious about the tournament. I planned to ask her about it later—if it was a streamer thing, it was probably related to her field. But if it was like AP and didn’t involve a large number of players, it might not need much assistance.

As I thought about it, I recalled the types of PvP modes I’d played with Harmony: survival, team six mode, and some escape scenarios. If the tournament involved something like Fallen Mode, where small-scale unrestricted PvP was allowed, I could definitely offer some helpful tips based on my past experience fighting rogue operators.

Assuming she wanted to accept the help.

Before I knew it, time had flown by, and it was nearing midnight.

“Whoa, how is it already 9 PM? That flew by.”

"Yeah, the crowds might have finally started to clear up by now."

This was my cue to check.

After reviewing the outside CCTV and news, I saw that the crowds had mostly dispersed, leaving only volunteers and cleaning staff hired by Icarus Corp. The sheer volume of trash left behind by tens of thousands of people was astounding.

Still, it looked like we were finally free to head out.

"Looks like you’re good to head out now. While the subway stations are still a mess, driving might be more reasonable… though no guarantees."

"Wow, three hours for the crowd to clear! We were this close to having dinner at 9 PM!"

"Ugh, when are we even getting home… Sensei, don’t you have any spare rooms here? I’ll just crash here tonight."

"…Why is everyone asking to crash here these days?"

I exchanged glances with Dice and Harmony. They smiled at each other knowingly, clearly in on some joke or plan. Whether Harmony had told Dice something or the other way around, they were up to something.

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

"Just come back tomorrow."

"Looks like we’ll have to."

Hotteok, looking exhausted, stretched and added with a grin, "Today was a lot of fun. I wish you all the best moving forward. Oh, and I never would’ve guessed your avatar wasn’t just an avatar. Even in the early days of streaming, I didn’t expect that! Are you planning on revealing your true identity soon?"

"Not in detail, but I’m aiming to do it by the end of this year. I can’t really hide it for much longer—people will figure it out sooner or later. Probably within three months, even if I keep streaming, everyone will know, but they’ll just pretend they don’t."

"That makes sense, haha."

Next up was Limit, who, in real life, was quite tall with a striking presence.

When he asked if it was okay to comment on my avatar, I told him not to hold back.

"So, are you going to keep using the avatar?"

"Pfft."

"…Of course. It’s something I worked out with the viewers, after all. I didn’t watch the official tournaments back when I first started playing the game, but I was surprised by how many avatars didn’t match their users’ real genders. So I guess I’ll just stick with it."

"Oh, a 'corrupted female' avatar!"

"Hey—don’t call it that, you jerks!"

Finally, there was KimStone, or Hyun-ah.

She had a similar height to Harmony, with slightly wavy black hair and a confident aura. She suddenly added, "Please continue to look after our Harmony!"

"…What?"

"Hey! What are you saying!?"

Harmony’s voice echoed through the lounge.

It seemed this person was going to be a challenge to understand.

With that, I said my goodbyes to everyone, shared a few more words with Harmony, and finally, we all parted ways. The lounge, which had been bustling moments ago, was now empty. But with the chatter of foreign and local pro-gamers from outside, it didn’t feel too quiet.

It was time for me to head back to my room as well.

"Ugh, I’m exhausted. I need a shower and some sleep. You going to wash up first?"

"I don’t mind either way."

"Then I’ll go ahead. I’m beat…."

Dice, clearly drained, stumbled out of the lounge. After doing a final check to make sure nothing was left behind, I turned off the lights.

As the door clicked shut, I reminded her, "We’ve got a debriefing. Be at the Korean team room by 10:30 PM."

"Ughhh…"

"It won’t take long."

It was the reaction I expected.

And when I sent out the group message, I’d likely get similar responses. But what could I do? It was mandatory.

As Dice shuffled down the hall, I called after her.

"Good job today."

She turned around and smiled faintly.

No more words were necessary.

Saturday was coming to an end.

"So, Harmony's been training under Yujin for almost two months?"

"Something like that."

"Then you're practically a senior! Oh, dear senior, please accept my respects!"

"Oh, come on, don't do that."

It was 8 PM.

The news continued to talk about the record-breaking crowds in Yongsan, with reports of traffic still being chaotic two hours after the match ended. Gathered in the lounge were me, Dais, Harmony, and her team, casually chatting in what felt more like a casual conversation disguised as a Q&A session.

To be honest, it didn’t hold much significance. No one was recording it, and even though these guys were streamers, none of them were streaming live at the moment. Plus, since some of what we were discussing was off the record, it was much more like friendly banter to pass the time until the crowd outside died down.

Meanwhile, Harmony had set her sights on bonding with Dais today, possibly venting her frustrations from all the training I’d put her through. She was eagerly sharing her experiences of the rigorous regime she had undergone while training with me. Most of the talk revolved around the intensity of my training methods.

As long as they didn’t end up comparing who had it worse, I didn’t mind. I turned my focus back to the others. After all, I had been getting questions from Harmony’s fellow streamers: Limit, Kimstone—who had asked me to call her by her real name, Hyun-ah—and Hotteok.

They seemed quite curious about how I had managed to get Harmony's skills to improve so drastically in such a short time.

"Have any of you seen the interviews Dais and I have done? I believe we’ve mentioned the key points in those interviews before."

"Yeah, I vaguely remember, but... does that mean you analyzed Harmony’s gameplay in that much detail? That's pretty impressive. Doesn’t it take a long time?"

"It could, if there were a lot of people to go over, but back then, there was just one. Preparing for this year’s Asia qualifiers, however, was much harder. It was tough to analyze all 18 participants in such a short time."

Not to mention, the four weeks we had weren’t entirely focused on training. The first two weeks were filled with breaks, advertisements, and scheduled events, leaving us with barely enough time to focus. Without the analysis engine and all the accumulated experience, it would’ve taken twice as long. But I kept that to myself and simply smiled at the thought.

The conversation quickly shifted back to Harmony.

"If I had to sum up my approach, I’d say I aim for balanced development in all areas. Imagine a person's skills represented as a polygon. My goal is to help them grow evenly in every direction, and my role is to identify the weakest areas and quickly help fill in those gaps."

I took a long sip from the chocolate frappe I had ordered earlier from the café inside the venue.

"In Harmony’s case, well, she had a lot of gaps. She was an amateur, after all. So, I focused on practical drills to sharpen her sense of strategy and movement in combat. Whatever couldn’t be covered in real-world scenarios, we worked on at the shooting range."

"Ah, so it was more like hands-on training. And it seemed like you tackled all the missions on the hardest difficulty, just the two of you…"

"You’re spot on."

At least eight hours a day, sometimes as many as twelve.

With that level of commitment, it was impossible not to improve. Regardless of personal attributes like gender or background, it’s inevitable. Even if the ceiling is lower than others, it’s possible to reach a top-tier level with enough effort.

So, I provided the foundation, and Harmony took the rope I threw her. Granted, in her own words, it felt more like I had grabbed her by the collar and dragged her up, but either way, the results spoke for themselves.

"Does that clear things up?"

"Well… it does, but now that I know the details, I don’t think I could ever pull it off myself."

I laughed.

In the end, it all boils down to one thing: if it doesn’t work, keep going until it does.

That’s pretty much the rule for everything in life.

But they still had more questions.

"So, how skilled would you say Harmony is now?"

"Hmm. It’s too early to say."

Honestly, if I trained her for another two or three months, she'd probably be among the top players in Korea. She wouldn't be someone who could just be pushed around in a match.

At least in terms of gaming, that’s where she was headed. As for real-world combat skills, there was still a long way to go, but that’s not relevant to Harmony’s life. She won’t be trekking through mountains, swamps, or deserts, and she certainly won’t need survival or high-altitude diving skills.

But I digress.

To explain it more clearly in a way they’d understand, I added,

"Still, in about two or three months, she won’t hear anyone saying she’s lacking in skills."

"...You’re not saying she’s going pro, right?"

I laughed again.

That would depend on Harmony’s intentions. But I held back the comment. If trained properly, it wasn’t impossible that she could step into the pro scene.

After all, the point of training is to mold ordinary people into extraordinary fighters. Given that, it’s definitely within the realm of possibility.

As the conversation continued, someone asked,

"Has Harmony ever mentioned anything about joining a streamer tournament?"

"Not that I’ve heard."

"I see."

Harmony and I locked eyes for a brief moment.

But she quickly looked away. To be fair, I was the one who avoided eye contact first. If she had really needed my help, she would’ve brought it up by now. Since she hadn’t, it was clear this wasn’t something I should get involved with.

Unless she brings it up when we talk later.

Harmony remained silent on the matter. But I was still curious about the tournament, so I planned to ask her later. It was likely something related to streaming, given the source of the information. If that’s the case, it’s probably not an AP-style match that requires a large number of players.

I racked my brain, trying to recall the kinds of PvP modes we had played. There was survival, team-six mode, and something about escaping unobserved zones… If she needed help with an unrestricted small-scale PvP mode like Fallen Mode, I could definitely offer some guidance.

There’s no need to reveal sensitive data about the Icarus Gear, but the experience I gained from fighting rogue operators would still be invaluable.

Assuming she’s open to it, of course.

Before we knew it, the clock was ticking toward midnight.

"Wow, how is it already 9 PM? Time really flew by."

"It sure did. I guess by now the crowds outside might’ve thinned out…"

I checked.

After reviewing the CCTV and news, it was clear that the outside world was now filled with volunteers and cleaning crews hired by Icarus. The sheer amount of trash generated by tens of thousands of spectators was overwhelming.

Of course, it wasn’t like people were littering. Thousands of trash bins had been placed all around the venue, but no matter how many times the garbage bags were replaced, there was always more.

Even though the conversation took a slightly different turn, the important takeaway was that it seemed safe to head out now.

"Looks like you’re free to leave now. The subway stations are still a bit of a mess, but traffic seems to be clearing up… Though I can’t say for sure."

"Wow, three hours just to get everyone out of here. We almost ended up eating dinner at 9 PM."

"Ugh, when are we getting home... Can’t we just crash here? Got any extra rooms?"

"...Lately, it feels like everyone’s asking me for a place to stay."

I exchanged glances with a few of them. Dais and Harmony both grinned. Whether Harmony had told Dais or the other way around, something had clearly been exchanged between them.

I couldn’t help but smile.

"Come back tomorrow."

"I guess we’ll have to."

And then, as if she were completely exhausted, Hotteok added,

"Today was great. I had a lot of fun. I really didn’t expect avatars to be… well, not avatars. I had a similar reaction when I first started streaming, but Yujin… Are you planning to reveal your true identity?"

"Not anytime soon, but probably by the end of this year. I stand out too much anyway, so it’s not like I can keep hiding forever. Honestly, even if I stream for just three more months, I think everyone will know but will pretend not to."

"Yeah, I can see that happening, haha."

Next up was Limit, a tall, friendly-looking guy in real life.

I had hesitated to mention the avatars at first, but he told me it was fine to bring it up.

So, I did.

"Are you going to keep using your avatar?"

"Pffft..."

"I’ll have to. It’s something I worked out with my viewers, after all. And since I only started playing six months ago, I didn’t get to watch any official tournaments. I was surprised to see so many avatars don’t match the players’ real genders. So yeah, I think I’ll stick with it."

"Oh, so you're a 'fallen girl'?"

"Don’t say it like that, you hooligans!"

Finally, it was Kimstone’s turn, or Hyun-ah as she preferred.

She was about the same height as Harmony, with slightly wavy black hair and a strong-willed demeanor. Out of nowhere, she added,

"Please keep taking good care of our Harmony!"

"...Huh?"

"Hey! What the heck are you saying!?"

Harmony’s shout echoed through the room.

It seemed like this person didn’t fully grasp the situation.

Anyway, after saying goodbye to everyone and exchanging a few last words with Harmony, the lounge gradually emptied out. It wasn’t entirely silent, though, as I could still hear the chatter of both Korean and foreign pro players outside.

It was time for us to head back to our rooms as well.

"Ugh, I’m so tired. I’m going to shower and lie down. Are you going first?"

"I don’t mind either way."

"Then, I’ll go first…"

Dais, looking utterly drained, staggered out of the lounge. After checking one last time to make sure nothing had been left behind, I turned off the lights.

As I closed the door, I added,

"We have a debriefing at 10:30 PM, so meet in the Korean team’s room by then."

"Ughhh…"

"It won’t be long."

That was the expected response.

Sending out a group message would probably get the same reaction, but this was mandatory.

Watching Dais drag her feet, I called out,

"Good job today."

She turned around and gave me a small smile.

No more words were needed.

Saturday night was drawing to a close.

"Ugh."

My entire body was overcome with exhaustion.

No matter how tough and battle-hardened I was, after an entire Friday spent in intense training, barely getting two hours of sleep, then waking up for the sudden test, I was spent. The test had been a live-fire drill where we had to jump into action as soon as we were woken up and complete the assigned mission.

In my groggy, half-asleep state, I had to navigate a complex set of objectives, review building blueprints, and then immediately get deployed for real gunfire. Of course, a minimum level of shooting accuracy was required. If not, you’d be sent packing.

Within just 10 minutes, the entire mission had to be completed, after which we could shower and return to watching the tournament until the early morning hours. Around 7 AM, I had collapsed back in my room, and woke up at 3 PM.

I could’ve slept longer, but the smell of food had roused me from bed.

I had a good idea of who was behind it.

"Why the long face, Sergeant Owens?"

"Making yourself right at home now that you’ve got a blue card, huh?"

An all-too-familiar face greeted me.

Her skin was flawless, glowing even, as if she was in a perpetual state of perfect health. She had that otherworldly appearance typical of awakened individuals, the kind who could never blend into undercover operations. There was no need for further explanation.

This was Logan… or rather, Laura Blemis. She was once part of the same task force I had served with Yujin, and she had returned yesterday after a long absence. Looking at her now, she almost seemed like a female version of a polar bear, as if you shot one with a tranquilizer dart that instead turned it into a woman.

How she got into my private room to cook me breakfast, though, I had no idea.

"How did you even get in?"

"I knocked, but when you didn’t answer, I just entered your old code. And I transferred $100 to your account, so use it to get a new doorknob."

"...What?"

"The door handle was stuck, so I used a little force, and it broke."

These damned awakened people. They never know how to use their strength properly.

Anyway, the breakfast she had prepared looked pretty good. Sausages, bacon, well-toasted bread, scrambled eggs. All of it smelled incredible, so I threw open the window to let in some fresh air.

And of course, the food was delicious.

I almost made a joke about marriage but thought better of it. She could probably kill me if she wanted to. Instead, I quietly shoveled food into my mouth while Laura, now seated across from me, brought up various topics.

"How was yesterday’s match?"

"Every day, I watch recordings of battles. You think there’s something else you could possibly tell me?"

"And this is why you’re still single. You need to be more accommodating to others."

"I can’t think of anything else to accommodate besides a bullet."

"You’re absolutely insane."

She burst out laughing, clearly amused by the exchange.

Of course, I knew exactly what she wanted to hear, so I gave her a bit of what she was asking for.

"If you want to hear about Yujin, I talked about her yesterday."

"Not that. Did you watch the Korean players? They were way better than I expected."

"She probably trained them herself. Who knows how hard she worked them, but they must’ve gone through hell."

I gulped down a glass of milk. After hours without eating or drinking, it tasted heavenly.

The subtle sweetness and rich flavor lingered in my mouth. It was enough to bring me back to life. Once I felt more awake, we shifted into lighter conversation.

"So, you’ll get your assigned gunsmith, squad, and lodging next year?"

"Yep. This year, it’s all about competing in Dark Zone, so I didn’t even bother applying."

"Think you’ll be able to beat Yujin?"

Silence followed.

Laura laughed softly, then replied,

"Honestly, I’m not so sure. There's no one else with a natural gift for combat like her. But I’ll give it my best shot."

"That’s good enough."

The quiet and the chatter ebbed and flowed, and we moved on to the final topic.

"I heard Kissinger visited the NSA recently. Apparently, he talked with Director Solomon about Yujin’s military background… So where does that leave her? Sergeant?"

"..."

She didn’t answer, but that was answer enough.

Clatter.

The sound of dishes clinking echoed through the room.

Another day in Delta was off to a quiet start.

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