If you Don’t Love Me, I Will Die
Chapter 34 Table of contents

It’s been a week since Edward left, and Ania realizes anew how deeply she holds him in her heart.

Even though they often couldn’t meet for two or three days when she was busy, it was nothing compared to an indefinite separation.

Her heart swelled with hope that they would soon meet, but now it only withered.

Thus, staring out the window became Ania’s daily routine.

She gazed outside through the window of her room, wondering if Edward would return someday.

Hoping that everything would be resolved and that Edward’s carriage would return to the mansion from afar…

She wished for it.

However, her fervent prayers were ruthlessly trampled upon every sunset and dawn.

Edward still hadn’t returned.

Despite telling herself it was just a terrible nightmare as she slept and woke up, Ania couldn’t wake up from the nightmare.

Instead, only a more horrific reality awaited Ania.

And today, Ania sat on the edge of her bed, gazing out the window.
Although the warm spring breeze had arrived, it couldn’t thaw Ania’s frozen heart.

Then, someone knocked smartly on the door.

“Miss. May I come in?”

It was Ricktman.

“Please come in.”

He cautiously opened the door and entered, glancing at the haggard hair.

Her once upright and graceful figure was no longer recognizable.

There was only a wounded little girl left.

Ricktman still vividly remembered Ania, who collapsed in the garden, crying as if the world were crumbling around her.

She was not one to show tears easily.
Resolute and steadfast.

Though she had a stubborn streak, her strong sense of pride prevented her from shedding tears in front of others.

Yet, she cried as if her ceasing breath would be less painful.

Ricktman placed the tray on the tea table, recalling that scene from that day.

“I’ve brought some food.”
“Leave it.”
“Miss…”
“… ”

Worriedly calling out to Ania, Rickman received no response as she continued to gaze out the window.

It had already been a week like this.

Rejecting proper meals and sleep, endlessly staring out the window.

But making Ania eat wasn’t easy.

In other circumstances, he might have offered comfort or advice from his position as someone who had lived serving her for many years.

But in this situation, he was even afraid to speak to her.
Ania seemed so fragile, like a vase on a shelf’s edge.
If he made a mistake and pushed her too far, she might shatter irreparably.

“Alright. Please rest.”

In the end, Ricktman swallowed all the words he wanted to say and had no choice but to leave the room.

It was so frustratingly clear that no words of comfort could be offered, and the old butler could do nothing.

“Please, make her happy.

“I can only pray to the gods…”

***

After my extended rumination, I reached one conclusion.

“I can’t revive the family through normal means.”

The Radner family, now in decline, cannot be revived through conventional business.

The knights once operated by the Radner family have been disbanded, and even if a new order were to be established, the reputation has been tarnished, and no one would entrust them with tasks.

The businesses and ventures managed by William Radner are in a similar state.

No one would want to work with Radner again.

No family would want to associate with a family tainted by drug trafficking.

Indeed, I would not engage in business with such a family.

Thus, it is naturally impossible to become involved in businesses connected to other families, such as distribution, processing, railroad ventures, mining, etc.

“I need to develop a new business…”

My world may have magic, but magic isn’t omnipotent.

There are trains powered by magic, but their efficiency is poor, so no one uses them now.

Crystal orbs, which could communicate over long distances, are being overshadowed by the new invention of telephones due to their limited range.

The same is true in other fields.

New inventions from the East surpass magic in many aspects.

So, there was only one thing I could do.

Utilize my knowledge as a modern person to the fullest and introduce new technology.

This world is still transitioning from medieval to modern times.

So, let’s learn Eastern technology and create new products.

If I could obtain that patent and devise a business plan, I could revive the Radner family.

Of course, it wouldn’t be easy.

“Allensia.”
“Yes, my lord.”
“Please send this letter to Alfonse de Mula.”
“Alfonse…”
“Just deliver it to the post office.”

I handed the carefully written letter to Allensia, and she nodded respectfully before setting off toward the village near the estate.

“Alfonse…”

He was a man I didn’t know well.

My only knowledge of him was in the novel, and I met him on the train to the ball.

But he’s the only businessman I know.

Surely, as news travels fast among businessmen, he would know Radner’s downfall…

But even so, I had to grasp at any straw available.

I had nothing to lose.

A week passed like this.

It was ten days since leaving the mansion.

As I was managing the estate as usual, Allensia hurriedly ran into the study.

“Lord Edward!”

She held in her hand the awaited letter.

However, there were two.

I had sent only one to Alfonse.

Could it be…

With a mix of hope and trepidation, I checked the letter Alencia handed me.

Could it possibly be a letter from Ania…

But unfortunately, the other letter bore the royal seal.

“It’s a letter from Eldrigan.”

I don’t know his purpose in sending it, but for now, checking the letter from Alfonse takes precedence.

I urgently broke the seal of the letter and retrieved its contents.

A week ago, I had written in a letter:

『Do you know anyone from the East? If so, could you introduce me to them? I’m interested in learning Eastern technology.』

My heart was pounding. I was worried that he might reject me upon hearing about the Radner family’s reputation.

As I unfolded the letter, I let out a sigh of relief.

『Dear Edward, I’ve heard the news. It’s a shame and not your fault. Asking for introductions from the East… as it happens, I know someone suitable.

A scholar who has studied in the Eastern kingdom for a long time.
But it may be challenging to get a reply from her. It might be better to visit her in person.

I hope you’ll stay strong.

Your old friend, Alfonse』

Alfonse’s response was better than expected. Perhaps being initially a commoner made him care less about ‘noble’ dignity.

In any case, it was good news. It felt like finding a small light in the dark, navigating through the shadows.

“Eldrigan…”

And then, the other letter. Since it came from the palace, I slowly unfolded it, knowing it was from the Crown Prince.

“….”

Inside were Eldrigan’s sincere apologies and heartfelt sentiments. He offered proactive support and said to ask anytime if I needed help.

That alone was reassuring.

I carefully folded the letter and looked at the portrait of Ania.

In the portrait, Ania smiled slightly, lightly raising the corners of her lips.

Was Ania smiling now too…?
Has she already forgotten about me?

Despite trying not to doubt, I couldn’t stop the anxiety from creeping into my heart. However, I will believe. I must believe in her. Even if that trust is betrayed at some point, I will hold on to it for now.

I slowly got up from my seat.

I must go to the East.

I needed to act while my resolve was firm.

“Alencia, please excuse the mansion for a while. I entrust the mansion to you.”
“Take care, milord.”

I immediately boarded a carriage and headed to the train station.

It’s quite a journey to the Eastern Kingdom, taking a whole week by train.

After buying the ticket and settling into the train, the scenery flowed past outside the window.

The last time I was on the train, Ania gently leaned on my shoulders, but now I was alone.

Sitting alone in the cabin, riding the train, I missed Ania.

When will I be able to go and meet her?

I took a piece of paper to write a letter but hesitated and put it away again.

Sending a letter now might weaken my resolve. It might be too hard to endure.

So, for now, let’s focus on the task at hand.

When the family becomes prosperous again, let’s return to Ania. Let’s build a strong family that no adversity can separate us.

The desire to return to my original world has long since faded.

‘You’re truly a blessed man, aren’t you?’

I remembered Ania’s face as she asked me this question on our way to the ball with Alfonse. A smile formed on my lips.

I hesitated to answer back then, but now I can confidently say:

Ania Brontë.
I am truly a blessed man.
A luck that can never be replicated.

“I will definitely come back.”

I placed the letter, filled with sincerity, into my bag like a hidden treasure and gazed out the window.

The scenery quickly passed by.

May the days without seeing you pass by just as swiftly.

I clasped my hands together and whispered a light prayer.

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