My Beloved Concubine Only Wants to Eat Melons
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Chapter 36 Table of contents

Those cherry-like lips were right before his eyes. Just a slight dip of his head and he could touch them.

But he never expected to hear her say such a thing at this moment.

Yuwen Lan was stunned. "What?" he asked.

Yanshu repeated herself, "If in the coming days anyone tries to link me with the Carefree Young Master, I request Your Majesty to help deflect such rumors on my behalf."

YuwenLan frowned and asked, "Why would anyone link you with the Carefree Young Master?"

Had something happened that he wasn't aware of?

Sure enough, she coughed lightly and said, "Well... recently I discovered someone was secretly stealing the discarded papers from my palace, probably trying to find out what I've been writing."

Yuwen Lan's brow furrowed deeper. "Someone's been stealing your waste paper? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

Yanshu thought to herself, where's the fun in telling you early?

If she had told him earlier, he would have at most sent people to catch the servant stealing the papers.

Even if they found out the culprit was from Consort An's palace, Consort An could easily deny any knowledge and absolve herself of suspicion. After all, stealing a bit of trash in the palace wasn't a serious crime.

How could that compare to the thrill of first throwing the opponent's camp into disarray, then watching them panic, question everything, and have their beliefs crumble?

Of course, given Consort An's intellect, after seeing the small tidbits she had deliberately leaked earlier and then reading the official work today, she was quite likely to make a connection between her and the Carefree Young Master.

She wasn't afraid of what Consort An might do; she just wanted to lay the groundwork with the Emperor first.

After all, as she wrote more and more novels in the future, it was bound to invite more speculation. Only the Emperor's identity could perfectly quell all doubts and make people accept it without complaint.

Hehe, it was fortunate that she had thought ahead to use a male pen name. It would be even more suitable for the Emperor to use.

Yuwen Lan, who had been listening silently, was bewildered.

So she had dug this pit long ago, waiting for him to fall in?

And now, she was making excuses with an innocent face, "Because I didn't know who was stealing the trash, I had no way to report it to Your Majesty even if I wanted to."

Yuwen Lan let out a mocking laugh. "Then why have you decided to tell me now?"

Yanshu replied with a clear conscience, "Because Your Majesty just said you would protect me. So I'm telling you now."

[Cut the nonsense, it's time to use you now. After all, you were half responsible for the idea of publishing novels, so you have to take care of it whether you want to or not!]

Yuwen Lan was speechless.

She was so brazen in shirking responsibility?

However, it was rare for her to come asking for his help. Besides, if he didn't help his own woman, who else would?

So he said, "Of course I keep my word, and you should have come to me earlier about this matter. But it's late now, I'll make arrangements in the morning."

Yanshu quickly agreed, "Thank you for Your Majesty's grace."

[Tomorrow morning isn't too late. I bet Consort An and her family won't be able to sleep a wink tonight, hehe...]

As she was secretly rejoicing, she saw Yuwen Lan pull her into his embrace. "I'm right here in front of you, don't think about other things."

Yanshu was taken aback, and stubbornly said, "I wasn't..."

Before she could finish, her waist was gently pinched.

Yanshu jolted, and saw him raise an eyebrow, saying, "That's the price for lying."

Yanshu was startled and quickly said, "I wouldn't dare..."

Tsk, how did this man seem to have the ability to read minds...

But before she could finish that thought, she was silenced by a kiss.

Just as Yanshu had predicted, the residence of the Minister of Rites was brightly lit all night.

In Lanlin Hall, Consort An also barely closed her eyes the entire night.

Consort An had many thoughts—

The affair between her grandfather and her second aunt was most likely true. Ah Chang might really be their child...

Although she desperately didn't want to face it, it was already a fact.

But now the most crucial thing was—what was the deal with Yanshu's discarded papers?

And what was her relationship with the Carefree Young Master?

Why did her waste paper and the Carefree Young Master's novel talk about the same thing?

Why did both of them know her grandfather's secret?!

The more she thought about these things, the more chilled to the bone she felt.

Could it be... that Yanshu was actually the Carefree Young Master?

But how could she have such ability to know so many secrets of the officials?

After tossing and turning for a long while, she finally crawled out of bed and called for Liu Di, saying, "Go tell Shuang Xi to wait outside Ganlu Palace now. Don't miss anything thrown out from inside, bring everything to me."

Liu Di quickly agreed and hurried out to relay the message.

Shuang Xi had no choice but to go to Ganlu Palace.

He waited from the early hours until dawn, and from dawn until the sun was high in the sky, before finally seeing someone come out of Ganlu Palace with a paper basket.

He immediately followed quietly, and when the person had finished emptying the trash from the basket, he quickly picked it up and ran towards Lanlin Hall.

However, before he had gone far, several people suddenly rushed out from the roadside and shouted at him, "Stop! What are you up to, sneaking around like this?"

Shuang Xi was startled and quickly looked up, only to see that it was Yao Shun, the head of the Inner Court Supervisory Office.

The Inner Court Supervisory Office was known for its ruthlessness. Shuang Xi immediately panicked and said, "Nothing, I wasn't doing anything..."

Before he could finish speaking, the other party had already grabbed him and began searching him without a word.

The waste paper he had hidden immediately spilled out.

Yao Shun picked up a piece of paper, looked at it, and suddenly frowned, saying, "You dare to steal His Majesty's handwriting? Arrest him and interrogate him under torture!"

...

Consort An hadn't slept all night. At dawn, she finally received news from her family, saying that her grandfather still couldn't get out of bed, and several doctors who had been called all said he had suffered a stroke.

This news was undoubtedly a bolt from the blue. Once her grandfather had a stroke, it was tantamount to directly bidding farewell to officialdom. The Song family's path forward would be difficult.

However, before she could think of a good solution, she saw her maid Mei Xue hurrying in to report, "It's terrible, my lady, Shuang Xi has been arrested by the Inner Court Supervisory Office!"

"What?"

Consort An was shocked.

—Even if Shuang Xi was seen picking up trash from Ganlu Palace, it wasn't a major offense. People in the palace often picked up leftover food and tattered clothes.

How did the Inner Court Supervisory Office get involved?

Then she heard Mei Xue say, "It turns out that among the trash he picked up from Ganlu Palace, there was His Majesty's handwriting."

His Majesty's handwriting?

Consort An was stunned, suddenly struck by a bad premonition.

However, at this moment, she saw Fu Hai enter the hall with a serious face, saying, "His Majesty is in the Palace of Benevolent Peace and requests your presence for questioning."

...

As Consort An walked, she kept wondering why His Majesty's handwriting would appear in the waste paper basket.

She suddenly had a vague feeling that this matter had been Yanshu's scheme to lure her from the very beginning.

When she arrived at the Palace of Benevolent Peace, she saw not only the Empress Dowager and the Emperor, but Yanshu was also standing to one side. Besides them, there was also Yao Shun, the head of the Inner Court Supervisory Office.

After she had paid her respects to the Empress Dowager and the Emperor, she heard Yao Shun say, "Just now, this servant caught a young eunuch outside Ganlu Palace, sneakily attempting to steal His Majesty's handwriting. Upon investigation, he turned out to be from Lanlin Hall. May I ask Consort An, did you send him?"

Consort An quickly said, "I only just learned of this matter. I beg Your Majesty to understand, I knew nothing about this."

As soon as she finished speaking, Yao Shun beckoned to one side, and someone dragged in a person with a bruised and bloodied face. It was none other than Shuang Xi.

Consort An was shocked by the sight, but she still said firmly, "This is indeed a servant from my palace, but I don't know why he did this. I absolutely did not instruct him to do so."

Having been in the palace for so long, she knew that as long as she didn't admit guilt and Shuang Xi didn't confess, no one could forcibly pin the crime on her.

As soon as she finished speaking, she heard the Emperor say, "Take him away and continue the interrogation."

Yao Shun complied and had people drag Shuang Xi away again.

Consort An maintained a calm exterior, but she was very nervous inside.

Stealing trash was a minor offense, but stealing His Majesty's handwriting was a serious crime.

Once implicated, it could even be punishable by death.

At this moment, she heard the Emperor speak again, "Even if you didn't instruct him, he is still from your palace."

Consort An immediately knelt down and bowed her head, saying, "It is my fault for not managing my palace people well. I have indeed failed in my duty. Please, Your Majesty, punish me."

Yuwen Lan then looked at the Empress Dowager and said, "This is not a small matter. If we let it go, who knows how many people in the back palace will follow suit. It would be a joke if word got out."

The Empress Dowager could only nod slightly and say, "Indeed so."

Yuwen Lan then turned back to Consort An, "You no longer need to manage the Internal Affairs Bureau. Until this matter is cleared up, you are confined to your palace and may not come out."

Consort An's heart tightened.

Once confined, she would no longer be able to help her grandfather in any way!

However, at this moment, she herself was also in imminent danger.

She could only kneel and respond, "This concubine obeys the command."

Then she rose and left the Palace of Benevolent Peace.

— The only plan now was to wait for Shuang Xi to take the blame himself. Once he died, she would be able to clear her name.

But how could she continue investigating Li Yanshu's matter?

Behind her, the Empress Dowager suddenly spoke, "How could this little eunuch who was picked up as trash in the harem steal His Majesty's handwriting?"

Yuwen Lan replied without changing his expression, "I saw that Consort Yi's handwriting was not good, so I've been having her practice writing lately. Sometimes when there are no copybooks, I would write something myself for her to imitate. Perhaps recently, Ganlu Palace has been using more paper, which aroused the suspicions of those with ulterior motives."

The Empress Dowager already understood and didn't say anything more.

After all, she was the one who gave Consort An the job of assisting with the Internal Affairs Bureau. She didn't expect something to go wrong so quickly.

The Emperor making a scene in her palace today was just to leave her speechless, wasn't it?

What a fool. Never mind.

On the surface, she nodded and said, "That's indeed a good habit."

Yuwen Lan made a sound of agreement, then suddenly said, "I heard the Minister of Rites is ill."

The Empress Dowager sighed, "Yes, yesterday Consort An came to ask for my permission to send an imperial physician to examine him. Later, the physician came to report to me that the Minister of Rites had suffered a stroke. Poor man, this illness is troublesome. He will suffer greatly."

Yuwen Lan nodded slightly and casually said, "He is after all an old minister. I should send someone to check on him."

The people in the Palace of Benevolent Peace who heard this all thought he was taking the initiative to repair his relationship with the Empress Dowager.

After all, that Minister of Rites was the Empress Dowager's man. The Emperor sending someone to express sympathy, wasn't that equivalent to giving face to the Empress Dowager?

The Empress Dowager didn't think much of it either, just nodding and saying, "It's his fortune that Your Majesty can have such a considerate heart."

Not long after, Yanshu followed Yuwen Lan out of the Palace of Benevolent Peace to bid farewell.

Fortunately able to hitch a ride on the imperial carriage again, she hurriedly asked Yuwen Lan when no one else was around, "When does Your Majesty plan to send people to the Song family?"

Yuwen Lan said, "Wait until I've decided on the right personnel. Why do you ask?"

Yanshu said, "It's nothing. This concubine was just thinking that the Song family is probably quite busy recently, so Your Majesty's people should go at the right time."

[Tsk, the timing must be just right. It would be best to catch them when their household is in chaos, to see all the excitement at once!]

Yuwen Lan: "..."

She spoke as if she could go herself.

But then he heard her sigh regretfully in her heart, [If only I could go too.]

— After catching cheaters in the act on the main street last time, she discovered that watching drama unfold in person was truly different.

For example, if she hadn't followed that Zhao Chengwen, how would she have known that even the Eldest Princess's Imperial Son-in-law could be so lacking in stamina?

So if you can watch in person, you should go in person. The details are also very important!

Little did she know that the man beside her was struggling to control his twitching brow. He hurriedly said, "I will find a time to send a trustworthy minister. Don't worry. You should go back and think about your story instead."

Tsk, this girl, bringing up stamina again!

At the Ministry of Rites Minister's Residence.

Seeing that Lady Yang had been confined for a day, her anger still hadn't dissipated. She was still smashing bowls and kicking furniture, still making a fuss about wanting to go out.

After quite a commotion, finally a housekeeper came to the door and said to her, "Second Madam, the Master has already spoken. It was you who upset the Old Master to this state. Until the Old Master recovers, you should stay obediently in your room and not think about coming out."

Lady Yang immediately cursed, "You're really good at pinning the blame on others! You're bullying me for being honest, bullying me because no one will stand up for me, right? Be careful, if you push me too far, we'll all go down together!!!"

At this time in the front courtyard, the couple of the Song family's eldest branch had just received a letter from the palace, saying that their only hope, their daughter Consort An, had also been confined.

The couple was naturally shocked. They wanted to ask for the reason, but the person who delivered the message just coldly threw down a sentence and left.

Just as the couple was anxious like ants on a hot pan, they heard the cursing of Lady Yang from the second branch again.

Lady Tian cursed, "This ignorant thing, isn't the family chaotic enough? I really want to sew her mouth shut!"

As soon as she finished speaking, she saw her husband Song Yuankui pause, then suddenly lower his voice and say, "Then don't let her shout anymore."

Lady Yang made a fuss until evening, and finally tired out.

Just as dinner was being sent in, a servant boy suddenly entered the room and said, "Second Madam, please wait. Be careful, there might be poison in the food."

She was startled and immediately put down her chopsticks, but then looked at him suspiciously and asked, "How do you know?"

The servant boy didn't answer her, but just took a bit of rice and vegetables and threw them into the fish tank in the room. In an instant, all the fish in the tank turned belly up.

Lady Yang was shocked and immediately raged, "How dare they! They actually dare to kill people! I'm going out right now to reason with them!"

But that servant boy stopped her, "Second Madam, please calm down. They are determined to kill you anyway. If you go out now, you'll only alert them. When they resort to force, how can you escape?"

Lady Yang then came to her senses, her face full of fear as she asked, "Then what should I do? Wait here to die?"

The boy then asked her, "Second Madam, do you know why they want to harm you?"

Lady Yang felt guilty inside, and stammered, "They probably fear that if something happens to the Old Master, the second branch will fight with them for the family property..."

The servant boy just smiled and said, "You should know clearly in your heart. There's no need to tell me. However, now there is only one chance to save you."

Lady Yang hurriedly asked, "What chance?"

He replied, "His Majesty has sent several officials to visit the Old Master. They are about to arrive at the residence. This is your only opportunity to call for help from outside. If you miss it, even the gods won't be able to save you."

Lady Yang was stunned, furrowed her brow in thought for a moment, and finally nodded.

Soon after, the special envoys sent by the Emperor indeed arrived at the Song residence.

The visitors didn't give notice, so Song Yuankui, the eldest son of the Song family, could only hurriedly go out to welcome them.

When he saw them, he was surprised to find that there were actually three special envoys —

They were Li Hongsheng, the Minister of Personnel; Ji Wenchi, the newly appointed Minister of Revenue; and Xun Fei, the Commander of the Imperial Guard.

Song Yuankui's heart skipped a beat.

This lineup was truly unexpected.

The other two could be considered officials of the same rank as his father, but the Commander of the Imperial Guard... what was this about?

Although puzzled, he still first welcomed the three into the residence.

The three naturally went to see the Minister of Rites first.

Seeing that he was already unable to speak or move, only able to lie in bed, they could only express the Emperor's sympathy before coming out.

Song Yuankui accompanied them all the way, but heard the Minister of Personnel say, "Minister Song has always been quite healthy. We hadn't heard of any discomfort in the past few days. How did he suddenly end up like this?"

Song Yuankui could only say, "Perhaps there have been too many family matters recently, and we younger generations have also been negligent in caring for father... After all, it's our fault."

The three didn't say anything more, just comforted him with a few words before preparing to take their leave.

Song Yuankui was about to see them out.

However, just as they left the room, they heard a burst of violent wailing. A woman with disheveled hair rushed up to them, crying and shouting, "Please save me, my lords! The Song family wants to kill me to silence me!"

...

The next day, news shocked the court and the public, leaving the citizens of the entire city dumbfounded.

— Song Zhiyun, the Minister of Rites, was morally corrupt and disregarded human ethics, actually forcibly occupying and abusing his daughter-in-law for nearly twenty years.

After the initial shock, officials and commoners from top to bottom all despised this man.

However, immediately afterwards, another piece of news that left people wide-eyed was spread —

It turned out that even the son born to his second daughter-in-law, Lady Yang, was actually this old man's own flesh and blood.

Song Yunchang, the young master of the Song family's second branch, who was nominally his grandson, was actually his son.

People didn't know what to say anymore, they could only shake their heads in disgust, all cursing this old man for being outrageous.

— Actually, Lady Yang hadn't originally mentioned her son's matter.

But unexpectedly, at the crucial moment, her weak husband Song Yuanwei, who couldn't even walk without panting, stood up himself and declared that the son wasn't his.

It turned out that Song Yuanwei had known everything all along.

After getting married back then, he had only shared a bed with Lady Yang twice, and each time didn't match up with the dates of when that child was later born.

Because of this, he had been depressed for years, making his condition even worse, but he didn't have the courage to break free from the shackles of family ties. He could only numb himself and let those two do as they pleased.

It wasn't until he saw the Carefree Young Master's new work recently that he realized his life might have another possibility.

Once this matter came to light, the emperor immediately stripped that old man Song Zhiyun of all his official positions and titles, demoting him to a commoner.

Shortly after, his eldest son Song Yuankui, Consort An's father, was also dismissed and held accountable for attempted murder and openly oppressing civilians, among other crimes. In the end, he was punished for multiple offenses and exiled to the border.

Consort An was also stripped of her rank for instructing palace maids to steal the emperor's handwriting, and was sent to Jade Truth Palace, which specifically detained royal female offenders, never to see the light of day again.

Fortunately, the emperor was fair in rewards and punishments. Considering that the Song family's second son, Song Yuanwei, was a victim and bravely exposed his father's evil deeds, he was exempted from being implicated in his family's crimes.

After expressing his gratitude, Song Yuanwei packed his belongings and left the capital, disappearing from everyone's sight.

It's uncertain whether he could truly achieve the ending depicted in the novel.

Although the curtain had fallen on this affair, it continued to be a topic of discussion both inside and outside the palace, in streets and alleys, for a long time during people's leisure time.

While making macramé in her free time, Rendong also sighed to Yanshu, "I never imagined that the bigger the household, the more filth it could hide. Look at what kind of people this family turned out to be! It's good that the Song family's second young master left the capital. If he had stayed, how could he have lived?"

"But come to think of it, where did that Lady Yang and her son go?" she added.

Yanshu, cracking melon seeds, replied, "Didn't they go to serve that old man? After all, they've already done the deed as husband and wife, and there's no one left in the Song family. If she doesn't take care of him, who will? Her son is still the old man's, so I guess they'll be there to see him off in his final days."

Thinking about this, Rendong couldn't help but spit in disgust, "It's so revolting. They deserve to disgust themselves in the end."

She then curiously asked, "Why hasn't the mistress written any novels these past few days?"

Yanshu sighed, "She's tired and wants to rest for a while."

-- Ahem, actually, she was laying low.

This time, her novel "A Real Man Stands Up" once again accurately portrayed the events at the Minister of Rites' residence, shocking the outside world and sparking renewed speculation about her identity.

Some even said she was a deity who had descended to the mortal world specifically to punish evil people.

Of course, some clever individuals guessed that her identity was extraordinary --

To be so fearless in exposing officials' scandals and to do so with such accuracy, she was likely to be a close confidant of the emperor or a high-ranking official.

In any case... she needed to cool down the hype.

It was better for the common people to focus their enthusiasm on production and daily life rather than spending all day reading novels.

Calm down, calm down.

Of course, the most important thing was that the novels she had written recently were not suitable for publication.

For example, the one about the imperial son-in-law Zhao Chengwen - if the emperor hadn't told the Eldest Princess yet, he must have his reasons. If she rashly published a novel letting the Eldest Princess know about being cheated on, it could lead to a bloody incident, which wouldn't be good.

She did have a few novels in stock, but they all had some risqué content, which the emperor wouldn't allow.

It was truly frustrating.

As she was cracking melon seeds and pondering what to write next, Lianxin came in to report, "Mistress, the Empress Dowager has sent a message saying that some pastries have been made in the Palace of Benevolent Peace, and she invites you to come and taste them."

Yanshu was startled. The Empress Dowager inviting her to eat pastries?

Tsk, what was she up to this time?

Of course, she couldn't refuse, so she quickly changed her clothes and went to the Palace of Benevolent Peace.

When she arrived, she found that the emperor was also there, wearing an ink-blue dragon robe, listening to the Empress Dowager speak.

"I truly misjudged her. I thought she was a well-bred young lady from a noble family, cultured and sensible. I never imagined that not only was her family not noble, but she herself was also malicious. They were truly in cahoots, utterly corrupt."

Yanshu understood that the Empress Dowager was talking about Consort An.

Tsk, come to think of it, the Empress Dowager must be quite exhausted.

-- Seeing that her own niece couldn't be relied upon, she had finally found someone with a bit of intelligence, only to discover that her family was so disgraceful.

Then she heard Yuwen Lan say, "This matter is their fault, and has nothing to do with you, Mother."

The Empress Dowager murmured in agreement, then turned her gaze to Yanshu and said, "Come, sit down. Today I had them make some taro pastries and double bean cakes. I heard you like them, so I called you to come and taste them."

Yanshu curtsied and replied, "This concubine thanks the Empress Dowager for her kindness."

She then sat down nearby.

Palace maids brought in the tea and pastries, which looked quite appealing.

Although Yanshu was a bit of a glutton, she still knew right from wrong and realized that the Empress Dowager hadn't simply invited her for pastries.

However, she still had to go through the motions.

So she picked up a double bean cake.

Before she could put it in her mouth, the Empress Dowager spoke, "By the way, I've heard that there's a very talented novelist in the market recently, someone called... Young Master? It's said that what he writes is exactly like real events. Even the matters of Xie Pei and the Song family were accurately portrayed by him. I wonder who has such great ability. Could they really predict the future?"

Yanshu was taken aback, thinking to herself that the moment had finally come.

But it didn't matter, since the emperor was here today.

It was his time to take the stage.

Sure enough, Yuwen Lan said to the Empress Dowager, "I had someone write it."

The Empress Dowager looked surprised, "What? Your Majesty had someone write it? Why did Your Majesty do such a thing?"

Yuwen Lan replied calmly, "I had actually heard about their affairs earlier, so I had someone investigate. Having it written as a novel serves two purposes: first, to warn the world and prevent others from following in their footsteps; second, to save face for them. If they were to voluntarily confess, I could have been lenient in their punishment."

"However, not only did they not repent, but they became even more brazen. It's truly disappointing."

After he finished speaking, the Empress Dowager paused for a moment before nodding, "This method is indeed good. It's a pity they didn't take the hint. Hopefully, after these incidents, others will take warning."

Inwardly, she thought, [So it wasn't Li Yanshu, but the emperor. I knew that girl couldn't have such great abilities. But... has the emperor become so capable already?]

Yuwen Lan silently took note of this but said nothing.

Meanwhile, Yanshu was quietly marveling to herself --

As far as she knew, although Consort An had her suspicions, she was confined to Lanlin Hall before confirming the truth, with no way to communicate with the outside world.

So the Empress Dowager's question today was entirely based on her own judgment.

Inviting both her and the emperor here today, and suddenly asking this question - the Empress Dowager probably wanted to see if she would reveal any flaws.

Damn, the Empress Dowager was indeed formidable. Fortunately, she wasn't born in this era, otherwise, who knows how many times she would have died at the Empress Dowager's hands!

Just then, she heard the system chime in, [Hey, the Empress Dowager used to be a pure and innocent little sweetie too.]

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