Xun Lian was photographed for a while, and then he woke up from the wrong and confused memory.

He lowered his head and heard the doctor say: "The second set of programs is a large amount of clomiphene, but this type of treatment for mental illness may affect brain or heart function, and the side effects are obvious, but it should be the most effective for treating similar problems. One of the drugs ... "

He couldn't hear the follow-up words, probably because Lin Chen was whispering in the ward again, saying something messy.

Xing Conglian was very careful to tell what he was talking about, but the air was too quiet. The kind of murky voice filled the entire space like cotton, probably "I don't want" or "I beg you". These voices It became wet with pain and kept expanding, which was disturbing.

"... Consultant Lin did not reject the plan ..."

The three most important words brought him back to life again, yeah, after they said those words, Lin Chen very clearly requested to go to Tzu Chi Hospital for treatment, and even the selected doctor was his familiar senior. .

Like an outsider, Lin Chen negotiated with the doctor every treatment plan and details at a fast speed, and chose a room specifically for schizophrenic patients. He was already an expert in this area.

Ke Xun never understood, at such a moment, how could Lin Chen manage everything very clearly like no one else.

He squinted his face, forced himself to stop looking at things in the ward, and excluded Lin Chen's voice. He asked the other party, "You are a doctor. I want to listen to you."

"After all, it is a new type of drug and there is no literature. Although it can be tried according to the prescribed treatment plan, it is indeed risky. To be honest, I think we can wait a few days to collect treatment plans for other cases before making judgments."

Xing Conglian interrupted the other party and said, "He wants to wake up quickly, he must also be awake."

The disappointed expression was apparent on the doctor's face, but it was very light and passed away. After all, this is a mental hospital. The doctors also see the cruel family members. The boss like him who wants his subordinates to wake up and work as soon as possible is just Ordinary is terrible, and Xunlian thought for a while, mocking himself.

But what can happen, Lin Chen said very clearly that he wants to receive treatment like ordinary people, and the phrase "remember to come and see me", hoping that he can urge the doctor to treat him.

Until this moment, Xun Conglian found out that for any decision made by Lin Chen, he had only one way to accept and support.

Because Lin Chen is always so clear, correct, excellent, and careless, it is impossible to fight.

A heavy sense of loss and annoyance struck again, and there was someone talking all around him, but Xun Lian felt as if he was standing in a dark and barren world, no matter how lonely he was.

He took a deep breath and wondered what to do. Lin Chen was inside and he was outside. They were very close, but they seemed infinitely far away.

Just then, his phone rang.

He didn't mute, so he even felt relieved when the piano song sounded.

When people are at a loss and at a loss, there will always be something out of the olive branch to save you, such as work.

Xun Lian apologized to the doctor, retreated to a dark corner, and answered the phone against the wall.

Huang Ze's voice sounded: "Xun Conglian, why is Su Fengzi here?"

He did not expect that Huang Ze would have a similar irritability or even a bit of fear. Some people were throwing cups in the background. In short, similar "high-level struggles" are actually no different from quarrels with children. There should be anger and unreasonable trouble.

"He comes whenever he wants, I can't control it." Xing Conglian answered.

"Do you know what he is doing!" Huang Ze was angry. "There is no public office, forcibly insert investigation!"

Huang Ze, as always, emphasizes procedural justice.

"Then you can arrest him." Xing Conglian said casually.

There was a brief blanking of the breathing sound on the phone, and Xun Cong frowned. The next moment, a very soft and happy voice rang over the phone: "Old sentence, how is my little brother?"

Xing Conglian raised his eyelids and looked at the ward not far away. The doctor was injecting new treatments to Lin Chen. Those busy figures were hazy and illusive, as if they were covered in black.

"Temporarily stable," he replied.

Su Fengzi didn't ask any more, but the words turned around: "Since this is the case, there is something interesting about Zhou Rui. Would you like to come together?"

Xun Lian instinct wanted to reject Su Fengzi.

He thought that he should sit outside the ward and spend this difficult time with Lin Chen, as Lin Chen said, like every thoughtful lover would do.

But reasonably and clearly told him that you are here to torture yourself, after all, you love each other for too short a time, this torture will continue to kill the love between you.

The night outside the hospital was silent. Xing Lian hung up the phone, took out the car key, and walked out.

...

The windows lowered very low, and night came on.

Xun Lian took the steering wheel with one hand and the cigarette in the other hand.

The □□ point is another peak in the city. There are not many vehicles on the main road. Neon lights and shadows outside the window are surging like tide and passing by the car body.

He turned on the car radio, and the voice was very low. The anchor did not say anything about the case. Most of the radio stations at night were emotional songs.

The anchorwoman's affectionate words flowed out, because the car was flooding out of the window, and Xun Cong couldn't even understand what was being said at all. It was nothing more than that he loved her and she did not love him. Heard something.

At this time, Xun Liancai recalled why he had hardly ever heard of a similar midnight emotional radio station before.

When Lin Chen was absent, he sneered at these emotional programs. To be honest, he never thought that he could get a beautiful love deep in his heart. People like him were lonely. There are too many things in the world, and I think loneliness must be the most suitable ending.

In retrospect, this self-setting similar to the lonely hero is really stupid, because he met Lin Chen.

After meeting Lin Chen, the co-pilot position has been occupied by the other party.

Lin Chen's words are not many, they will chat a few words, but more peaceful than the mellow jazz in the night.

One time in his memory they came back from a business trip and stayed up all night to drive long distances.

In the early hours of the morning, even night trucks on the highway became scarce. The dynasty snored in the back row. Lin Chen **** his seat belt and chatted with him in a sleepy posture in his seat.

They talked about the scenery passing by the city just now, talked about the details of the emotions during the meeting, talked about the broken bulbs in the house and needed to replace them when they went back.

He couldn't remember the specific details, he just remembered that they said a lot, and that was entirely because Lin Chen was afraid he would have trouble driving, so he kept talking.

Those sounds were relaxed, laid back, yawning and drowsy, and they kept ringing, both ordinary and thoughtful. Now, he suddenly lost that kind of voice, and Xun Conglian felt that the inside of the car was scary. He could not help but unbutton the shirt collar and opened the window to the lowest level.

The night wind poured into the car, and the journey reappeared from Lian's mind.

Later, he drove the car into the rest area. He smoked in the parking lot and Lin Chen went to buy two cups of hot coffee. There were few freshly ground black coffee at the highway rest station, so most of them were instant stuff.

There were only a few trucks in the parking lot around. The stars in the night sky were bright and bright. Lin Chen came back with a hot paper cup and handed him a cup.

White foam floated on the coffee, and the liquid was mellow, and some hot mist drifted away, as Lin Chen looked at him then.

They took a sip of coffee together and looked at the velvet night sky. They probably felt warm and peaceful to each other, so no one spoke.

Looking at the position of the co-pilot from even Lian couldn't help, he always felt that Lin Chen could still see the lower lips stained with coffee stains, with a sweet smell and sparkling.

It was also at this moment that Xun Liancai suddenly realized that Lin Chen almost never sleeps when driving at night. Those words and coffee, hot tea and his waiting while smoking are the most common and unusual company. .

He didn't realize it before, but now he suddenly lost it, only to find that the habit is a terrifying thing.

Xing Conglian felt panic again. He picked up the phone and started to look through the address book without any purpose. He wanted to call anyone's phone, trying to wake himself up from his memories with work.

But before he actually found someone who could talk, he took a call from Guanghua Chemical.

The dynasty's voice was excited because Xiao Zhan had reached a conclusion on drug research.

The chemical engineer answered the phone and talked a lot, and those technical terms were very verbose. He didn't have any thoughts to listen to, but in order not to think about Lin Chen, he forced himself to write down those contents and repeatedly confirmed whether his understanding was correct .

This call let him pass away about seven or eight traffic lights. If it wasn't for the dynasty's last question, "How is Brother Achen," he would probably get rid of the memories.

But his efforts clearly failed. Lin Chen was right. With so much work, he wouldn't be able to do it all his life.

He hung up and turned up the volume of the car radio.

Lin Chen was very good towards the dynasty. That was not because of his crush on him or Aiwu and Wu. Xing Conglian knew this very well. Like the little fat man who introduced them, Lin Chen was born with strong protection for these innocent creatures *.

When the dynasty could not hear them, they also exchanged questions on the education of the dynasty.

In the face of Lin Chen, he also asked the other side in confusion whether the dynasty was too indifferent to the world and his psychological age seemed too naive.

What about Lin Chen? At that time, Lin Chen raised his eyebrows and pondered for a while, and did not answer his question immediately.

He thought that Lin Chen might be embarrassed to criticize him face to face, but late at night, after a few hours, Lin Chen handed him a copy of "Exceptional Child Psychology".

The sides of the book are covered with various labels, and many paragraphs in it are specially marked.

They sat by the window, Lin Chen flipped through the book page by page, explaining to him a series of questions such as psychological age, like a persistent old scholar, and serious and cute.

The table lamp was dim, the spring breeze was soft, and the light and shadow of the river fell on Lin Chen's face. Xing Conglian thought about it. At that moment, did he already feel the heart of Lin Chen without knowing it at all.

He kept thinking and thinking about the dryness of his mouth, only to find out that the smoke on his hands was burned out, and there was a pile of soot on his pants.

He threw the cigarette **** and wanted to get another one, and the red light in front turned green, and he was just driving into a path sandwiched in a residential area.

Many of the shops on both sides have been closed, but the supper shop has just opened.

This place is very close to their home. On countless early mornings, he and Lin Chen came here side by side for breakfast.

The memories he and Lin Chen shared were as pervasive as the morning mist in the south.

Lin Chen always knows where it's best to go early. Although he loves to sleep, but every so often, Lin Chen always wakes him up less thoughtfully in the early morning.

They crossed the streets and alleys to the lively bazaar and waited for the soy milk or noodle soup with the old lady in the morning.

For example, this Nanlin Street has the best buns in Hongjing. Lin Chen likes rose bean paste. He prefers curry beef. They will buy two for one and eat while walking.

The roadside is a light-scented camphor tree, and the wooden sign of the house rental shop is hung on the tree near the end of the street.

At that time, he felt that it was normal for friends to walk to find breakfast together, but now it is foolish to want to come.

Why does Lin Chen always know in advance where things are delicious, why Lin Chen is never called a dynasty, and why is Lin Chen willing to walk with him instead of taking a car no matter how far the road is?

The answers to these questions made the prisoner tingle with sweetness.

Because Lin Chen loves him and wants to stay with him for a while, that's all.

Xun Lian didn't even dare to smoke, and even felt that as soon as he moved, the picture in front of him was broken.

Lin Chen does not like spicy food, but he is willing to accompany him to eat spicy crayfish; Lin Chen hates to sleep late and may accompany him to watch the ball all night; Lin Chen will remind him to fasten his seat belt, and Lin Chen must unscrew it before handing water Bottle cap ...

The details are too clear and obvious. He enjoys the love and care beyond friendship, but he doesn't know it at all, like a complete fool.

The Zhou Rui Building was within easy reach, and Xun Conglian felt that he couldn't think about it any more, otherwise he would definitely leave everything behind and turn back to Lin Chen.

He pressed the cigarette butt, found a parking space on the side of the road, and decided to walk.

The downtown night is also coming to an end.

Tea shops started to snooze, bakeries hung 20% ​​off signs, and bus stops were crowded with couples.

He was surrounded by passersby who were preparing to return home, crowded with each other, and in the shop's shiny neon lights, tiredness and joy were written on each face.

The torture was carried forward with his hands in his pockets and passing by with countless couples.

The girl hugged the boy and coquettishly. The boy kissed the girl and the girlfriends laughed at each other. People talked about all kinds of topics, clothes, shoes, work, love, noisy voices filled the whole night, but there was no Lin Chen's voice here.

He answered another call, and his subordinates were reporting to him the latest progress of the drug investigation. Zhou Rui Pharmaceuticals refused to cooperate, and they could not find any breakthrough for the time being.

Xun Lian perfunctory two sentences, telling the other party that he will be there soon.

But the moment he put the phone down, he looked around and suddenly realized that there was no color in the whole world, and it was scary to be alone in the bone marrow.

He even felt that no matter how much Lin Chen loved him, he might not be able to withstand similar moments again. Too dark, too lonely, and uncomfortable. He was like a patient who suddenly broke his addiction and lost the meaning of life.

He touched his pocket, the cigarette in the box was exhausted, and he was forced to walk to the small smoke stand on the street.

The old man opened the suitcase under the street light, and the dim light of the street light scattered.

He crouched down and chose cigarettes, beside him was a couple picking jewelry.

The boy asked the girl why she had to wait so long, while the girl said that she had to wait until her parents had fallen asleep and finished makeup before daring to sneak out.

"I like what you look like," said the boy.

"Without beautiful pupils and false eyelashes, you wouldn't like me," the girl replied heartily.

Punishment could not help but turn his head. The girl beside him was gorgeous in makeup and seemed to glow in the night.

He probably watched for a little longer, the girl pointed at him, and said to the boy, "See?"

"You don't trust me."

"It's not a question of believing or not trusting you, but my own vanity, I want to appear in front of you every day."

Xing Lian regained his sight, and always felt that a similar dialogue would not appear between him and Lin Chen.

Lin Chen always tolerated him to care for him, like a gracious stranger, and what happened to him was the conversation that a normal couple would have.

He didn't want to listen anymore, took up the cigarette, asked the price, and started to pay.

The boy was still struggling with the question of makeup, and asked the girl again, "Will you be sick and I can't take care of you? Are you old and taking the medicine that will make you crazy?"

"I will also make up when I am sick, and I will die when I get old. In case I take that medicine and become crazy, you are not allowed to come to see me, you are uncomfortable and uncomfortable, the farther you go the better!

The girl was stomped angrily like a cat with a tail on it.

Xing paused from the hand where he received the change, he looked at the old man's dry fingers, and his body was frozen.

"You must not come to see me", the girl beside him said so, what about Lin Chen, what did Lin Chen say?

Xun Lian seemed to be back in the ambulance. Lin Chen's face was vague, but his voice was firm and soft.

Lin Chen said, "You have to walk with me," he said, "you have to work hard and get things done." He also said, "you have to remember to come and see me."

He kept thinking about what Lin Chen said, every word, over and over again, the incomprehensible feeling that something always felt wrong appeared again, such as the huge shadow of the iceberg under the water, suffocating.

Not the girl saying "You must not come to see me", but "You have to remember to see me" ...

Xing Conglian finally understood what went wrong with this sentence.

He always knew that Lin Chen loved him. When Lin Chen kissed him, he loved him. When Lin Chen was dying, he loved him. Even when Lin Chen chose to inject drugs for love, he still loved him. ...

The depth of cuteness is too difficult to measure. Before he thought it was affectionate and affectionate.

And at this moment, under this ordinary street lamp, he suddenly heard the story of the most ordinary couple in the world, and suddenly felt how profound Lin Chen's love for him was, such as the white waves and the initiation.

For a while, he felt tinnitus, and Lin Chen's voice kept swirling around his ears.

If he becomes mad and dehumanized, the first thing he needs to do is to drive Lin Chen away and refuse to appear in front of his lover with such an ugly face.

And Lin Chen, Lin Chen cares too much about him. Even in such a moment, Lin Chen must restrain the fear of instinctively exposing ugliness, and think carefully about what to do to be better for him. Not to push him away, but to do everything in his power to support him through the difficult times.

Lin Chen wanted him to feel better and wanted to give him hope, so he was extremely strong. He chose a treatment plan and only wanted him to be less sad. For this reason, Lin Chen was even willing to fully expose his ugliness to him, even with dignity. All become completely unimportant.

All this is because in Lin Chen's mind, his feelings are more important.

But how is this possible, that is Lin Chen, how can dignity be unimportant?

Lin Chen, who is so clever, sensible, caring for him, and even struggling to be strong for him even when he is most vulnerable, is simply unable to parry. Xun Cong stood under the street lights and started rushing towards his car like a mania.

At that time, Lin Chen's eyes were too gentle and nostalgic, softer than the red glow that was about to disappear. He didn't see the fear, uneasiness, and indescribable love inside, but only felt that Lin Chen was too rational and clear. He felt abandoned. He felt too lonely, so he ignored this light and ordinary sentence.

His neglect is normal, because Lin Chen has always loved him so much, Lin Chen tries to do his best, and he just immerses in it and enjoys it for granted.

How can there be so many things taken for granted?

Xun Lian stood for a long time in the place, rumbling in his ears, everything rushed past. It wasn't until the little couple disappeared under the street lights that he woke up like a dream, and began to run wildly when the road was mad.

He turned against the flow of people and smashed many people. He shook his hands in an unprecedented way, and even tried the car key several times before inserting it.

He turned off the phone and stepped on the gas pedal in madness, hoping that he didn't leave the door of the ward.

The night was completely dark, and he had become a beast that had lost his mind. Everything about Lin Chen filled all the space around him, and he had no way out except for running wild.

The vehicle was galloping on the street, he was running in the corridor, and countless frames of bustle passed in front of him.

Lin Chen is laughing, Lin Chen is crying, Lin Chen is talking, Lin Chen is walking, Lin Chen is handing documents, Lin Chen walks out of the door, Lin Chen is holding him and saying "thank you", Lin Chen is holding his hand and saying " I love you"……

The simplest picture is the most memorable, the ordinary daily life in the deep memory, and the time and space are infinitely compressed.

He locked the door, turned off the lights, and raised the curtains. When he realized what he was doing, he was already standing in front of the bed, and everything stopped suddenly.

All the scenes in the world recede like tides, leaving only this lonely bed in the space.

The surroundings were extremely dark. Only the moonlight tilted down from the window, like a heavy snow, to completely bury the person in bed.

Xun Lian faintly saw the face he was familiar with, but felt that he didn't know the other person at all, and he wanted to reach out, but like a man in a nightmare, he could not move hard.

Time passed purposelessly until a hint of unconscious moaning, leaving a crack in the solidified space.

Xun Lian looked at the bed again before he could really see Lin Chen.

Lin Chen's mind is not clear at all, and his eyes are full of madness. The rope grips his mouth so that he cannot open his mouth, but he is still shaking and struggling, and his saliva is flowing.

Xingcongren continued to move his fingers and resumed some, but this restoration made him suddenly feel anguish to the extreme.

"Why did you do this to me?"

The pain made him climb into bed without hesitation, he bite Lin Chen's neck, and untied Lin Chen's strap with his other hand.

The people on the bed quickly struggled, as if to stab him to kill him, but Xun Lianning would rather Lin Chen kill him, and it was the best relief for them to die together.

He forcibly pulled Lin Chen's hands over his head and tied him to the iron frame on the bed.

Lin Chen's upper body was bent into a painful arc. Xun Lianlian felt that this was not enough. He unlocked Lin Chen's shackles that bound Lin Chen, and Lin Chen's instinct could make him struggle more violently.

Xing Cong even held Lin Chen's ankle, he knew that it had no meaning to the madman except for pure force suppression.

Lin Chen's whine was permeated in the space, and Xun Conglian finally untied Lin Chen's mouth rope. Lin Chen's teeth were biting indiscriminately. Their teeth collided and the pain was beyond restoration. This chaos was not at all Like a kiss.

"Go ... Go away!"

Lin Chen's body became hot under him.

"Who are you letting go?" He reached Lin Chen's ear, raised the volume, and asked again, "Who am I, who do you want to get off?"

"Go! Go!" Lin Chen only issued vague syllables.

Xun Cong even felt like he had become completely mad, and he wanted to find the exact answer in the irrational world: "Who am I, why do you let me go?"

Lin Chen shuddered, using a mechanical or buried tone that he could not forget, saying: "Xun Conglian ... Xun Conglian ... Xun Conglian ... Xun Conglian ..."

The extremely clear voice from Lin Chen's mouth made Tong Conglian choked. He didn't understand the mental brain and the human mind. He didn't know how important he was to Lin Chen and allowed Lin Chen to fall into the spirit again. In the chaos abyss, he dare not forget his name.

Lin Chen was locked in pain, his head was shaking, his lips rubbed across his face, and he heard Lin Chen said, "Xun Conglian ... Xun Conglian, get off ..."

Xing Conglian knew that he couldn't leave now. He had to ask a clear question. The answer was too sad, but he had to get it.

He didn't even dare to look at Lin Chen's eyes, forcibly held Lin Chen again, and reached in front of Lin Chen, and said in the coldest and ruthless tone: "Here, you can be willful, selfish, unreasonable, even you don't I will accompany you to die, as long as you answer my question, as long as you tell me the truth. "He said, he couldn't hold on anymore, his voice choked," Please, tell me the truth. "

It seems that his plea worked, or that the tears that fell on Lin Chen's face really made people sober.

Lin Chen's movement stopped and looked at him blankly.

"What do you think of me?" He asked.

"You don't look at me." Lin Chen's gaze was heartbreaking at the moment when he was still.

"Who doesn't want to come to see you?" He asked again.

"Xing Conglian ... Xing Conglian don't look at me ... Xing Conglian don't see me like this!" Lin Chen whimpered, like a child after making a mistake, extremely violent and crazy, "Xing Conglian does not like me , Xing Lianlian couldn't help but like me ... "

Every syllable made by Lin Chen was inserted into his heart like a knife, yeah, it really is.

The punishment stopped all movements, and even the heart seemed to stop beating. There was a mess around, and he lost all his ability to act.

For about half a minute, or for an infinitely long time, Xun Conglian felt that the blood slowly returned to his limbs, and he did not understand what he was doing.

He supported his elbow, kissed Lin Chen's cheek, loosened the rope on the bedside, and climbed up from Lin Chen. At that moment, Lin Chen grabbed him sharply.

Xing Lianlian was desperate again, and he held Lin Chen vigorously.

It was an extremely painful and compact world. Like Lin Chen's heart, there was no other way than to shed blood and break it forcibly.

Lin Chen's painful gasping, his body twisted completely, and he moaned, growled, and repeated "roll" and "please".

"Ah ... uh ..." Lin Chen's voice has long been hoarse, unable to organize complete sentences, love you ... I ...

Xing Cong kissed his neck forcefully, and felt that they would never have to be so hard to take Lin Chen into his belly.

He didn't understand Lin Chen. From the moment Lin Chen appeared at his doorstep, he never really understood Lin Chen.

"Tell me the truth, tell me what you think!" He grabbed Lin Chen's hair roots and asked Lin Chen geologically.

"I, it hurts ... it hurts ..." Lin Chen's eyes filled with tears, "Xing Conglian ..."

"Tell me!" He growled.

Lin Chen shouted almost sadly: "I love you, I don't want to be friends and colleagues with you, I want to be with you."

"carry on!"

"Why don't you like me, why don't you know that I like you? My life is so bad, and there are so many bad people I meet, I will die anytime, anywhere, you will fall in love with me, accidentally I I wo n’t wait for that day. ”Lin Chen was totally in pain, she could n’t feel any joy, and her words were messy and illogical,“ I will die, I will die soon ... If you die, you wo n’t Knowing I've loved you ... good ... so good ... "

The punishment was very clear, but when Lin Chen was awake, he could not hear these words in his life, and he was so distressed that he could not be remedied. In addition, he could not find any channels for venting.

"I love you, you can't know, but Song Shengsheng is dead, he will die so well, I can't help it, I really can't help it ... I want to try, I really want to try ... I shouldn't Yes, but I really can't help it, I love you! "Lin Chen bit his pain in the shoulder.

Xing Conglian's mouth was full of blood and tears: "I'm sorry ... I don't know ... I really don't know ..." He hugged Lin Chen tightly. He was more helpless and scared than Lin Chen, except that he kept saying "I love You "and" Sorry ", he was clumsy and wondered what to do.

"I don't want to do that. I didn't abandon you. I couldn't die if I was dead ... I couldn't die if she died, but I couldn't think of any way ... how could I be so stupid ... how could I be so stupid ... "Lin Chen didn't know where to think, and began to desperately scratch his head." You don't want to be sad, you can't be sad, I'm too stupid, too stupid. "

"I know ... I'm sorry, I'm really sorry ... you tried your best, I know ..." Xun Conglian took Lin Chen's hand and was ashamed of the idea of ​​breaking up at that moment, "but I really don't know what to do Yes, I have nothing good. I ’m not good at all. I have killed many people. I am stupid and selfish. Thank you ... I really thank you ... "

It was too difficult to punish Xun Lian. Obviously, he should hold Lin Chen in his palm and treat him as if treasures had loved him so much that he couldn't be rehabilitated, but no matter what he did, he couldn't keep up with Lin Chen's love for him.

He stopped all movements and kissed Lin Chen's eyelids carefully. He tried to slow down his movements, but felt that only pain could solve everything.

"Xing Conglian, I'm sorry for you!"

By the end, Lin Chen's only strength shouted, his voice was hoarse, and his heart was full of heartache.

At that moment, Xun Conglian found that he had lost his helmet and armor to Lin Chen, and was defeated.

He has no other way to go except to live with Lin Chen.