If you Don’t Love Me, I Will Die
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Chapter 81 Table of contents

“What…?”

After riding the horses for a while, we finally arrived at the estate, fortunately finding it unharmed.

However, just as I was about to breathe a sigh of relief, the news I heard upon arriving at the mansion was utterly shocking.

“Lady Ania… headed for the capital.”
“Why!”
“She said she must meet the Viscount…”
“Damn it!”

I slammed the desk with frustration.
Blood from the wounds that hadn’t been cleaned yet scattered across the desk.

“Milord! You mustn’t exert yourself.”

Servants, who were applying ointments and bandages to my body, hurriedly restrained me.

My head throbbed with pain.
I thought I had finally reached Ania… but I never imagined things would turn out like this.

“The phone.”
“Yes?”
“The phone! Contact the Capital immediately!”

As I snapped, one of the servants trembled and bowed his head.

“My Lord, I apologize, but the communication office has been destroyed, and the network is down.”
“Damn it.”

I cursed involuntarily.

“However, they are currently working on recapturing and restoring it.”
“When will it be restored?”
“I’m not exactly sure, but…”

My stomach churned.

I was angry at those who had sent Ania alone.
Still, I was most resentful of myself for not even considering the possibility that she would.

She has done it before, so why did I not think of it?

My body wouldn’t stop trembling.

If Ania had lost her life in the Capital…
Just imagining it made my heart ache as if it were breaking.

“My Lord, you must calm down… Your bleeding won’t stop.”

My injuries were quite severe.

Despite applying expensive medicine to stop the bleeding and potions to mend bones, the bleeding continued unabated.
However, my heart, filled with anxiety, simply couldn’t calm down.

“Give it to me.”

Eventually, I snatched the bandages and wrapped them tightly around my head and wounds. The bandages were pulled so tight that the blood ceased to flow.

“Lorendel, prepare the carriage.”
“Yes…?”
“We’re going to the Capital right away.”
“My Lord!”

The servants and Lorendel exclaimed.

“We can send a servant to go to the Capital.”
“I’ll go myself.”
“You can’t! It’s a miracle you’re still alive. If you push yourself, you’ll surely collapse.”

Collapse? That didn’t matter.

I wanted to meet Ania as soon as possible.
As long as I didn’t know Ania was alive…
Bleeding to death would be less painful.

“I’m going.”

As I staggered out of bed, the servants blocked the door.

Fear, worry, and determination were written on their faces.

“Step aside.”
“Normally, I would allow it, but this is the Northern Kingdom, My Lord. It means those cruel and barbaric people are attacking the Capital! If you were to lose your life…”

I didn’t need to hear the rest.

The fallen Radner lineage had been built up by me alone.
So, if I were absent, naturally, the Radner family would lose its pivot and collapse rapidly.

“The lady… will be safe.”

A young servant said through gritted teeth.

“How do you know? Have you been to the Capital?”
“The lady is strong!”
“Even strong people can die.”
“But… My Lord, you’ve survived.”
“Ania isn’t me!”

Usually, I wouldn’t have gotten so angry at a child’s words.
But the unease was tossing my mind about haphazardly.

The young servant shrank back in surprise and instinctively clung to the old servant’s embrace.
Seeing that, I finally regained my senses.

“Damn it. I’m yelling at a child…”
“My Lord.”

Lorendel grabbed my arm with a worried expression.

“Miss Ania wouldn’t want the Viscount to get hurt either. Imagine how devastated she’d be if she’d seen you on your deathbed.”

I nodded.

Lorendel was right.
Going back to find Ania, without knowing what had happened to the Capital, was an emotional response.

Moreover, if Ania managed to escape the Capital and return to the estate…
What a cruel, cruel world…
If I had known this would happen, I would have developed a portable phone before having my memories read.
If I had set up my own communication network, things might not have turned out like this.

But there were no changing regrets.

“Fine. But I’ll give you until the end of the day. Find out Ania’s condition by any means necessary. If a day passes, I might truly lose it.”
“Yes, certainly.”

With that said, the mansion immediately bustled into action.

“Dispatch the knights to the Capital!”
“Find a branch that can communicate…”

I closed my eyes and blocked my ears.

I shouldn’t act in haste.

Ania’s safety was important, but so was welcoming her back.
As much as I thought of her, she must be thinking of me too.

As my heart began to settle, suddenly, someone knocked on the door.

“My Lord, a guest has arrived.”

“…A guest?”
“Who could possibly be visiting amid this chaos?”

As the attending physician beside me opened the door, the guest came into view.

“Lord Edward.”
“E- Ei…?”

It didn’t take long for me to recognize her identity.

It was Ei, the mage who had read my memories in the Southeastern Tower.

***

“What brings you here at a time like this?”

As I asked, someone behind Ei revealed themselves.

A hood obscured their face, and a veil draped in front of the hood completely covered it.

“You have a companion.”
“I apologize for coming at such a time without notice… but I felt it was necessary to meet you.”

Ei swiftly ushered the person behind her forward, and they stood before me.

The petite figure slowly opened its mouth.

“Greetings.”

It was a woman’s voice.
A young woman’s voice, at that.

“Who are you? And why are you here?”
“I suppose introductions are in order. I am Canella.”
“I didn’t ask for your name.”
“She’s the one leading the Memory Addicts.”
“Memory Addicts?”

At the unfamiliar name, Ei explained.

“It’s a kind of magical society composed of people who use memory magic.”
“I’ve never heard of such a society.”
“It’s not surprising.”

Ei smirked.

“But it’s quite a capable society nonetheless.”
“Why have you come to me? You said it would take a month to read my memories again.”

Upon asking, Canella spoke.

“I’ve come to read your memories.”
“Didn’t you say it would be dangerous before a month passed? It’s been less than a week.”
“That’s in typical cases.”

Canella seemed somewhat inept at explaining.
Although my intention with the question was to get a reasonable answer, her words were shrouded in secrecy, like someone hiding something.

In truth, wizards tended to be like that.

Ei and Aria were even more peculiar in that regard.

As I pondered, concern for my sister’s well-being crossed my mind.

“Ei, is Aria okay?”
“Of course. The Tower is always protected by magic.”

Ei hastily changed the subject.

“Anyway, about the memories. I asked Canella if there was a possibility of having memories of events that never happened.”
“And did you find an answer?”
“No.”

Canella’s response was still curt.

“But I thought it was worth investigating. I’ve looked into Viscount’s memories over the years, but this is the first time I’ve encountered something like this.”
“…But can you find out right now?”
“Yes.”

As I narrowed my eyes and stared at Canella, Ei hurriedly explained.

“As I mentioned before, reading memories in a short period poses a risk to life. However… there is a way, albeit complex… In any case, it’s possible.”
“Why didn’t you mention this earlier?”

Ei quickly extended her hand.

“It’s not that I was hiding it. It’s just that it’s difficult to explain.”
“Then try it, whatever it is.”
“Alright.”

As Ei nodded, Canella took out a crystal orb from her pocket.

It was a shimmering purple crystal orb.

“This is an item that can extract memories. I invented it. The manufacturing process is very complex… First, you need pristine snow crystals from the north and rare herbs gathered from the north…”
“Enough, just do it!”

After nodding, Canella began to manipulate the crystal orb.

Then she recited a spell.

“Simply fall asleep for a moment, and it will be over.”

As her words reached me, my consciousness seemed to sink deep into a profound slumber.

Soon, my body felt lighter.

I realized it quickly.
My consciousness had entered into the depths of my memories.

How it was possible, I didn’t know…

Continuously, I delved deeper into the slumber of profound memories.
Countless clusters of memories brushed past me.

At the end of this descent, I found the memory in the deepest recesses of my consciousness.

Edward facing death.
Ania Bronte, coldly watching his demise.

I slowly reached out toward that memory.

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