If you Don’t Love Me, I Will Die
Chapter 82 Table of contents

In the darkest depths of consciousness, there was something that seemed to radiate darkness.
A memory of Edward.
As I slowly reach out towards that memory, I close my eyes, and I make a vow.

No matter what memories I may see, my heart will not waver.
My love will not change.
The woman I love is only Ania Bronte, only her.

So I do not doubt.
How many times has doubt, that foolish seed, blocked our path?
I will not make such a mistake again.

As unknown memories gradually illuminate within the depths of consciousness…

***

“Edward.”

Suddenly, my surroundings brighten, emitting a light so intense that I can’t open my eyes.
It quickly fades, leaving my ears ringing.

It feels like being trapped in a deep cave for a long time and then seeing light.

I slowly chase away the remnants of the light.

“Edward?”

Someone’s voice tickles my ears.

I know that voice.

Ania Bronte.

The woman I love more than anyone in this world.

The woman I realized I loved at first sight.

“Edward!”

As she shouts, as if angry, my body trembles involuntarily.

“…Yes.”

And just like last time, words came out of my mouth without my will.

“Why are you like this all of a sudden?”
“I was just lost in thought for a moment.”
“…….”

Ania’s eyes widened, then she lowered her head with a faint smile.

“It’s our wedding.”
“Sorry.”

Edward’s response to Ania’s disappointed voice was dry and devoid of any joy. It was hard to believe that it was the voice of someone getting married.

“Can’t you be a little happier?”
“How much happier? I’m already quite happy.”
“You don’t seem happy at all.”
“Isn’t that obvious?”

His voice was sharp.

“You bought me with money; how could I possibly look happier than this?”

Since my perspective matched Edward’s, I couldn’t see his expression, but his voice was tense enough to imagine his nervous demeanor.

“I’m here now for the sake of the family. Don’t misunderstand… Ania Bronte.”
“Edward.”

As she spoke, Ania called out to Edward in a soft voice, but he didn’t turn back.

“Well then, let’s start the wedding of Lady Ania Bronte and Edward Radner.”

The voice of the bishop came from the back of the church.

“Proceed.”

As the door opened, Edward uttered a cold word before slowly stepping forward.

Then darkness enveloped my vision.

My consciousness began to move towards another memory.

It felt like swiftly passing through a dark corridor, an unfamiliar sensation, but more peculiar was the memory itself.

If my memory serves me right, in the original story, Edward falls head over heels for Ania at first sight and dedicates himself to her completely.
So why is Edward hesitating so much about marrying Ania?

This doesn’t align with the original content.

Then whose memory is this?

As I pondered for a moment, my consciousness drifted back into another memory.

***

When I regained consciousness, I found myself in the mansion.

It was the mansion where Ania and I started living together after our marriage.

What am I doing here?

My gaze slowly lowered.

“Is it that difficult?”

Along with it, I heard Ania’s voice mixed with sobs.

“Going to the capital together?”

Ania was crying.

Tears fell from her eyes like beads, splashing onto the floor.

“Why would you want to go there?”
“I told you. It’s a date.”
“A date?”

Still, Edward’s cold voice came from my throat.

“Our agreement was until marriage. Do I have to go on dates with you after getting married? Even without a conscience, you’re asking for too much.”
“Conscience?”

Ania gasped in disbelief, then burst out.

“We’re a married couple! Going on a date once shouldn’t be such a big deal!”
“I told you. I have an important engagement today. I have no reason to break my promise and spend time with you.”
“How can you say such…”

Ania’s voice trailed off.

When Edward let out a small smirk, Ania turned around and slammed the door behind her.
“…….”

Edward stared at the door with vacant eyes for a moment, then let out a small sigh.

Then, he walked slowly towards the mansion.

“Master.”

Someone called out to Edward.

As he turned his head slowly, he saw Lorendel’s face.

It looked a bit younger than now.

“The Duke has arrived.”
“Prepare the tea from the North. Also, let them know I won’t be staying long.”
“Yes, master. I’ll do that.”

After nodding, Lorendel left.

Edward stood in front of Ania’s door for a while.

From beyond the door, a faint sobbing could be heard.

It was a heartbreaking cry that would even touch the listener’s heart.

Edward stood there for a while, then reached for the doorknob.

But as his grip loosened, his hand dropped.

“Phew….”

A small sigh escaped his lips.

At the same time, he felt a heavy pain in his chest.

His throat burned, and his eyes welled up.

“This is absolutely not possible.”

Muttering to himself, Edward walked back down the mansion’s corridor towards the training ground.

At the same time, as if the thread of consciousness had been abruptly cut, the memory came to an end.

I once again passed through the long and dark passage.

***

This time, I was wandering for much longer.

I floated along a long and distant path.

It was fortunate, in a way, considering there were many things I needed to think about.

“They were things I had never experienced before.”

According to the original story I read, Ania should have proposed marriage first.

However, Edward fell in love with her at first sight and devoted everything to her from the moment they met.

If Ania wished, promises could be broken as easily as only five more minutes in bed.

So why would Edward treat Ania so cruelly?

And why would Ania cling to Edward like that?

What kind of story is this, really?

At least the original wasn’t like this.

Perhaps, without my knowledge, a revised edition has been published.

If the writer who couldn’t overcome the readers’ complaints revised the story and republished it…

Or maybe they released a prequel and crafted a side story…it wouldn’t be completely impossible.

Thinking about it for a moment, my consciousness once again flew through the black tunnel towards the corridor illuminated by bright light.

***

When the bright light gradually disappeared, I found myself in the middle of a certain night.

It was a night illuminated by the pale and serene light of the full moon.

Looking around, I found myself in a familiar room.

It was the mansion where I used to live with Ania before returning to the Radner estate.

Late into the night, Edward was sitting by the light, reading a book.

The faint sound of insects chirping could be heard in the distance.

“…….”

Edward remained silent as he read his book for a while…

But just by looking at him, I knew.

Edward couldn’t absorb a single word from the book.

His mind felt tangled, and his heart felt muddled.

It seemed he was under quite a bit of stress.

“Damn it.”

With a curse, Edward roughly closed the book.

He clenched his fist and reached towards the wall, stopping midway and collapsing onto the bed with weary steps.

“What the hell am I supposed to do?”

Edward, his voice tinged with dissatisfaction, turned his body to face the ceiling.

He slowly closed his eyes.

“Just what…”

That’s when it happened.

A thud, a sound from outside the mansion.

At the same time, Edward’s body jolted and began to tremble slightly.

“Just what…”

He repeated the same words.

What should he do? How should he…

Just repeating those words for a moment.

“Ahh!”

A scream echoed from a distance.

It was a piercing scream, but Edward simply closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

An urgent voice, filled with shock, tore through the quiet night air.

“Miss!”
“Call for the physician immediately!”
“This can’t be happening.”

Amidst the clamor, my consciousness slowly began to fade.

“Again… this…”

Edward couldn’t absorb a single word from the book.

His mind felt tangled, and his heart felt muddled.

It seemed he was under quite a bit of stress.

“Damn it.”

With a curse, Edward roughly closed the book.

He clenched his fist, then reached towards the wall before stopping midway and collapsing onto the bed with weary steps.

“What the hell am I supposed to do?”

Edward, his voice tinged with dissatisfaction, turned his body to face the ceiling.

He slowly closed his eyes.

“Just what…”

That’s when it happened.

A thud, a sound from outside the mansion.

At the same time, Edward’s body jolted and began to tremble slightly.

“Just what…”

He repeated the same words.

What should he do? How should he…

Just repeating those words for a moment.

“Ahh!”

A scream echoed from a distance.

It was a piercing scream, but Edward simply closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

An urgent voice, filled with shock, tore through the quiet night air.

“Miss!”
“Call for the physician immediately!”
“This can’t be happening.”

Amidst the clamor, my consciousness slowly began to fade.

“Again… this…”

And finally, just before consciousness was pulled back into sleep,

I briefly caught sight of glistening tears flowing down Edward’s cheeks.

And only then, I could see his expression.

Edward’s face, covered by his right hand.

His mouth contorted in agony.

“Stop… Please, stop!”

Echoing like a lament, Edward’s cry rang out.

‘Why…’

I couldn’t understand.

After pushing her away so cruelly, why was he in such pain when Ania chose to end her own life?

With that question still lingering, my consciousness returned to my original body.

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