GalaxyTL
It’s because I’m full of anxieties about the future. That’s why those two, working hard towards their goals, are so dazzling. I know. I know, buuut! Because of that, my anxieties are brought to the forefront, and I can’t genuinely cheer for them. I hate myself for it. I want to cheer for them, I want them to do their best. I truly feel that way, but my heart is heavy, and it’s painful.
It’s fine, calm down. I’ve seen the future, in my dreams. A future where I’m smiling happily. That future will definitely come. So I know, even though I’m struggling now, things will work out.
But what’s wrong with me? I’m usually able to feel positive after remembering that. This isn’t like me. …Not like me.
“……Gu……!!”
────Where am I?
“Meg!!”
I suddenly heard someone calling my name. It was so loud, and yet, I wasn’t surprised, even though they were right next to my ear. It’s strange. This fuzzy feeling… it’s like when I wake up. M-Maybe I was sleeping? While standing? Huhhh?
“Meg!”
“Gil-san…?”
I was called again, and finally understood the current situation. Apparently, I’m being held by Gil-san. When I answered vaguely, he seemed relieved and loosened his grip. Did I do something?
“…Let’s go to the Village.”
“! Dad.”
I noticed Dad was also nearby. Or rather, there were a lot of people around me. Even Asuka. They were all looking at me, worried and uneasy. …Could it be?
“Was I… about to lose control…?”
Everyone looked down, making serious expressions. Ah, so that’s the answer.
Still, I, the one who was about to lose control, don’t have any symptoms. I just feel like I was spacing out. So I don’t understand why they’re all looking at me so worriedly.
“That’s the ‘I don’t really get it’ face, huh. Ash also said he just felt fuzzy, like he was in a dream, or like he’d just woken up, and didn’t really think anything of it, at first.”
That’s bad, isn’t it! It definitely means it’s started! Eh, has it progressed that much? It hasn’t even been that long since I heard about it, so… don’t tell me the signs were already there, back then?
“We’re going to the High Elf Village, right… does that mean I won’t be able to participate in the tournament?”
That’s what I’m worried about right now. I know there are more important things! But, I decided to participate, I was getting excited, I was training. I promised Rune and Goot, and Urbano, that I’d go… and Asuka too.
“We don’t know that yet.”
“Eh?”
Dad, seeing me dejected, put his hand on my head and smiled awkwardly. Apparently, we’re going to consult the other High Elves. That maybe, if they adjust the flow of my magic power, I might be able to calm down before the tournament and participate. I-I see. So I shouldn’t give up yet.
“What’s probably the worst for you right now… is feeling down. Emotional stability’s important, in order to prevent you from losing control.”
“Emotional… stability…”
That’s right. So keeping my heart strong is the key to preventing it from being taken over. Realizing that, I instinctively looked up at Gil-san, who was kneeling beside me, supporting me.
Why did you look away, the other day? Was something wrong? Did I do something? …No, that doesn’t matter. Well, it does, but if this is how it is, then I’m going to prioritize my own feelings! Because that’s the best way to deal with it, right? I gripped the sleeve of Gil-san’s shirt tightly.
“I want to be with Gil-san. Gil-san, will you come with me…?”
I won’t cry. I’m not a little kid anymore. But please forgive me for my teary eyes and strange laughter. I’m trying to hold back.
“Meg… yeah, of course.”
Ah, it’s the usual Gil-san. He smiled faintly, the corners of his lips lifting slightly, and then gently hugged me. My tears were absorbed by his clothes, so I successfully hid the evidence. I love this, this way of hugging, unlike before, when he’d hugged me frantically.
“Well, it can’t be helped. Gil, can you get everything done in three days?”
“It’s enough.”
Three days? As I was tilting my head, wondering what that meant, Dad started to mutter something. Ah, maybe he’s adjusting his work schedule!? I feel incredibly guilty. Just as my face was paling, I felt a small tap on my head.
“It’s not something you have to worry about.”
“Auh. B-Buut…”
It seems like Gil-san saw right through me. I looked around for an ally, but everyone was smiling wryly, seemingly agreeing with him. Wait, don’t tell me… everyone can also read my mind?
“A-And Asuka too…”
“I’m fine.”
Asuka, who I’d then made eye contact with, interrupted my words. Even Asuka!?
“I might be a visitor, but I’m going to be part of Ortus someday. I know I can’t always be spoiled!”
Those were such mature words, for a child. He was such a selfish, emotional child when I first met him, I can’t get over how much he’s grown!
“And also, because I’m cute, everyone will help me.”
Ah, but that hasn’t changed! It’s true, though! But I feel relieved. Even Owen-san told me not to worry, that he’ll be there for me, and everyone else was smiling kindly. I’m so happy I almost feel like crying. But I won’t!
“Alright, then Gil, finish all your work within three days. Meg, stay near me. I can handle anything that happens.”
I nodded silently at Dad’s words. Even Gil-san nodded slightly.
“Leave for the High Elf Village in three days. Can you two go alone?”
That question was directed at Gil-san, I think. I glanced up at him, and he quietly replied, “Yeah.” He’s so reliable. What about me? I’m just being taken! I don’t even have the right to answer, honestly. And I have a storage bracelet, so I can leave immediately if I wanted to. So it’s just a matter of preparing myself, both physically and mentally. I lose control sometimes, but aside from that, I’m healthy. Only my mental state is unstable… and that’s the most important part! Honestly, I’m so stupid!
“Hey, so can we train together until then?”
Asuka timidly asked Dad. Those puppy dog eyes are unfair! Look, even Dad’s speechless, overwhelmed by his cuteness.
“Well, that was the plan, anyway. Okay, I’ll watch over your training tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.”
“Yes! And to think we’ll even be trained by the head of Ortus, how luxurious!”
I knew Dad would be defeated by those eyes. He loves kids, after all…. But it’s a nice offer for me too, so I jumped up and down happily, with Asuka. A lot of people coughed. Was it that funny?
“Just the mornings, though. Sorry, I have a lot to take care of.”
“That’s enough, Dad. …Thanks.”
I was touched by Dad, who was scratching his cheek apologetically. I know he’s busy right now. He has to do more work than anyone because he’s the head of Ortus, and yet he’s giving up his time for me. I thanked him, hugging him tightly around his waist.
“Ah. I can work hard, if I hear those words. Alright everyone, I’m going to be giving you all more work!”
There were cries of anguish at Dad’s words. But they were all cheerful, things like, “I knew you’d say that!”, and “Seriously!? You’re so evil!”, I love them so much! But it’s true that things are going to get tough. I can’t forget to be grateful.
“Thank you too, everyone.”
So I bowed deeply, conveying my gratitude. The members of Ortus are also like family to me. Just like they think of me as family. But there’s also the saying, “Familiarity breeds contempt.”
“That’s probably why everyone loves you. It’s not just because you’re a child and cute, you know?”
“R-Really?”
I think it’s basic, to thank and apologize. It’s probably hard for tsundere types though. But I think it’s fine if those feelings are conveyed, even if they’re not put into words. Reki’s incredibly clumsy, but he’s considerate. And Urbano’s handwriting, even though he’s shy, shows how much effort he’s putting into it. Or a gentle look in Gil-san’s eyes.
I’m just saying them because I can put them into words. I think everyone’s kind, and that they are expressing those feelings. It’s just that words are the easiest way to convey them. I don’t want to miss those subtle feelings they have.
“Hey, let’s go eat.”
“Asuka… yeah! Ah, Gil-san is…”
I saw Dad off, as he ruffled my hair and left, and then Asuka spoke to me, so I cheerfully replied. I then wondered what Gil-san’s going to do. He looked away last time, so I timidly looked up.
“Gil too! Let’s eat!”
“M-Me too?”
Asuka, seeing me falter there, grabbed Gil-san’s arm and invited him. Gil-san looked flustered. You’re amazing, Asuka!
“For now, you resemble Gil more than me. But I’m going to get you someday, you know.”
But he added that, pouting slightly. Get me? I wonder if there’s something he wants. Just as I was tilting my head, I heard Gil-san chuckle.
“I see.”
“Ah, you’re not taking me seriously, are you!? I mean it! I really, really mean it!”
Ah, huh? Gil-san looks like he’s having fun. Asuka’s getting worked up though. I don’t understand what’s going on anymore. But seeing those two happy made me feel happy, so I stopped thinking!