If you Don’t Love Me, I Will Die
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Chapter 32 Table of contents

Johann’s capture occurred one month after receiving the letter.

It was a day when winter had passed, the snow had melted, and the once cold weather had gradually turned warm, reminiscent of the longed-for letter with its fresh, green ink.

However, the news of spring’s arrival was not as sweet as expected. It was bittersweet, like swallowing bitter medicine or drowning in a flood of sleep, knowing tragedy would come someday.

Humans are truly cunning.
With this thought in mind, I quietly swallowed a bitter smile.

During this time, I did not spend a moment away from Ania.

When we had no work, we were always together at home, strolling through the garden.

We didn’t ask each other about anything.

Knowing too much would have tipped the fragile balance we’ve maintained.

So, we simply spent time together, engaging in simple conversations and building memories.

I moved forward, knowing the path ahead was like a cliff, yet I walked on, longing to look over the edge.

From now on, there are countless things I must endure.
That’s why I wanted to be by Ania’s side even more.

Because we surely won’t have much time together.

Proving that Johann’s actions were unrelated to the will of the Radner family will take quite some time.

I’ll have to visit both the family and the prison to gather evidence, and we’ll have to appeal for Radner’s innocence as we move from one courtroom to another.

But I felt confident that I could do anything.

I had sworn to myself that I would do whatever it took to protect Ania, so now, besides believing in my own oath, there was no other way.

— Johann Radner. For distributing narcotics in violation of imperial law, thereby disturbing the Empire, I will punish the severity of this crime by executing him.

Johann met his end by execution. It is said that his final appearance was so grim that one could not bear to see it.

Of course, he was a villain who deserved it.

Being born as an illegitimate child was not his fault, but distributing drugs and ruining the lives of countless people was his wrongdoing.

However, he did not fully bear the burden of his sin in death.

“What did you say?”

Even facing death, Johann Radner burdened me with a heavy load.

It was a burden beyond imagination.

“According to reports, Johann Radner’s money was used to finance the Radner family’s knights.”

Lorendel spoke with a trembling voice.

Her voice was like a knell.

I would’ve already had a hard time before, but upon hearing her words, it felt as if the world before my eyes turned dark.

“…Did Father know about this?”
“My Lord knew nothing about it, but the Empire can not take his word for it. They said he must pay the price for using illicit money…”
“Damn it…”

My father, William Radner, the head of the Radner family, was stripped of his title for using illicit funds and sentenced to ten years in prison.

The Crown Prince was powerless.

He was talented to lead the Empire in the future, but before the emperor, his words were nothing but a small murmur.

But it wasn’t the Crown Prince’s fault.

He was only looking out for the future of the Empire.

He simply didn’t anticipate that the emperor would be so harsh, and he didn’t know that William Radner was using Johann’s assets to raise the power of their knights.

But the Crown Prince fought fiercely for me until the end.

He strongly asserted that I cooperated in Johann Radner’s arrest, and thanks to that, I did not face any consequences.

As a result, I succeeded William Radner as the next head of the Radner family.

Aria was also considered, but Aria was still not of adult age and was a woman.

This era was not modernized enough to put a woman as the head of the family when male heirs were available.

Furthermore, Aria is a highly respected magician.

High-ranking individuals also opposed appointing such a talented child as family head, citing it as a national loss.

In the end… I had to leave the mansion and head towards the Radner family estate.

Even though I had taken the position of Earl Radner that Johann so desired, I was not happy.

I was left with nothing but the responsibility of somehow saving the crumbling family.

***

“Edward….”

Time flows mercilessly,
Like an endlessly flowing waterfall.

And so the day came when I had to leave the mansion and go to the Radner family.

With a heavy heart, I pushed the bag full of belongings into the carriage.

“I will come back.”

I tried to say it calmly, but my face betrayed me.
I could tell my expression was dreadful, even without looking in the mirror.

Ania was the same.

But Ania didn’t cry.

She couldn’t hide the sorrow on her face, but she didn’t cry for me.

I knew the extent of her feelings, but thinking of the affection we shared during our time together, I couldn’t help but be bitter.

“I promise. I will definitely come back.”
“I believe you.”

Where did that confidence come from?
I don’t understand her.

Even when she saw the people who had insulted her at the ball, she didn’t cry… Maybe she was just enduring it.

That’s what I decided to think.
Thinking like that made my heart feel at ease.

‘Don’t leave me… Stay by my side.’

I recalled Ania, who had clung to me in tears at Bronte Manor.

So I decided to believe.

In the original work, Ania Bronte may have rejected Edward, but the Ania I saw during our time together was not that kind of woman.

If she had grown tired of me, she would thrown me away long ago.
If she had wanted to abandon me, she would have done so without hesitation.

But Ania didn’t leave me.

Even though the Radner family was almost crumbling,
Even though I had taken on that heavy responsibility.

“…,”

As I got on the carriage, I looked back at Ania.
She was still looking at me.

I tried to say something, but no words came out.

If I said anything, my emotions would overflow for no reason.

In the end, the carriage departed.

The Order of Knights under the family was disbanded,
The property was confiscated,
And I was left with practically just the name and the land of Radner Manor.

I saw the mansion in the distance as the carriage passed through iron gates.

The memories of the nine months I spent with Ania… scattered like a handful of dust.

Will I be able to return?
Will I be able to keep the promise I gave Ania?

“It must be something only the gods know….”

Edward was a faithful man, so surely this must be a trial sent by the gods.
If I strive to overcome it, they will indeed look after me.

***

Ania watched the departing carriage with despondent eyes.

Inside that carriage was the man Ania loved.
The man she wanted to hold onto, the man she wanted to receive love from.

But he was leaving.
Helplessly, from her own hands.

Like trying to grasp falling grains of sand, she couldn’t hold onto it no matter how hard she tried.

The bottomless depths in Ania’s eyes, which always sparkled, were now filled with profound sorrow.

Despite the long winter coming to an end and spring arriving, the world cruelly separated Edward and her again.

Ania took deep breaths, trying to calm her trembling body.

Her exhales were so shaky it was pitiful.

“My Lady….”

Ricktman, silently watching her from behind, called out to Ania, but he knew she didn’t hear anything right now.

‘My heart ached, so how much more sorrowful must it be for her?’

“My Lady, please come inside. You need to rest.”
“Ricktman… just a moment.”

Ania had also struggled tirelessly to save Edward and prevent the downfall of the Radner family.
She must be exhausted.
But Ania remained still as the carriage became a tiny dot and disappeared.

And as the carriage disappeared beyond the distant bushes, Ania’s body slumped to the ground.

“My Lady!”

Ricktman rushed forward and caught Ania’s falling body.

Her body was already delicate. If she fell and got hurt, Ricktman would have no face to show her.

“Ricktman…”

Ania lowered her head.

“Are you alright?”
“Yeah… I’m okay.”

As she spoke, tears streamed down Ania’s cheeks.

Though her lips struggled to form a smile, she looked more fragile than ever.

Seeing her face, Ricktman was taken aback to the point where he held his breath.

He had watched over Ania from childhood to now…
But he had never seen her look so despairing before.

“I’m… fine.”

As her restrained tears burst forth and her shoulders shook up and down, all Ricktman could do was hold her hand.

Author’s Notes

What will be the fate of the two…?
Stay tuned for the next episode.

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