My Beloved Concubine Only Wants to Eat Melons
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Chapter 32 Table of contents

Of course, Yanshu was just imagining.

This was an enormously serious matter. Even if the subject matter was explosive, it wouldn't matter - how could she actually write about it?

Yuwen Lan breathed a sigh of relief.

Then he heard her pondering, [Perhaps I should write about those ministers and help the emperor clean up the court politics. At least that would benefit the country and people. What should I write about tomorrow? Maybe the incident from last year when the nephew of the Vice Minister of Personnel bullied his classmates at the Imperial Academy?]

Yuwen Lan frowned to himself. Was there really such an incident?

Well, it seemed he wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight either.

The next day at court, everyone was surprised to discover that Xie Pei, the Southwestern Communications Commissioner, had suddenly fallen ill.

Tsk, the timing of this illness was certainly suspicious. After all, just two days ago he had been bouncing around insisting on impeaching a writer of story books. How could he suddenly be sick?

Two days later, the Imperial Censorate formally impeached him in court. It turned out to be related to a theft case from many years ago.

Apparently, over twenty years ago, while on his way to take the imperial examinations, he had stolen money from a fellow traveler. After luckily passing the exam, he had repeatedly abused his power to persecute the victim, causing him to fail the exams time and again.

"..."

Everyone suddenly realized that the popular story book from a few days ago, "The Greedy Man Dies Under the Flowers," had actually been about him.

Tsk tsk tsk, not only had he stolen from his companion back then, but he was also apparently fond of visiting brothels?

Who knows if he had contracted any venereal diseases...

While everyone was speculating, more news came - upon investigation by the Imperial Censorate, his subordinates and personal servants all testified that he indeed loved to visit prostitutes. He had even gotten into a brawl with a merchant over a famous courtesan by the Qinhuai River, hiring people to beat and cripple his rival...

Everyone: "..."

It matched up with that previous story "The Wicked Wife Cleverly Cures Her Philandering Husband"...

Tsk tsk tsk, who knew his character was so despicable! He deserved to be the first sacrifice to the new edict!

Half a month later, Xie Pei was dismissed from his post as Southwestern Communications Commissioner. The crime of stealing money from others years ago was added to his offenses, and he received twenty lashes.

However, considering his family was unaware of his misdeeds, the punishment did not extend to them.

As for Xie Pei himself, he had already taken a fall, and now with twenty lashes on top of that, one can imagine his miserable state. It was said he had to be carried home in the end.

After all his scandals were exposed, even his wife became angry. Her previously virtuous attitude vanished, and she left him to fend for himself.

It truly matched the ending in the story book.

But this turn of events made people even more curious - who exactly was this "Carefree Scholar" who wrote the story books?

How could he know the details of events from so many years ago so clearly?

As the first major "case" of the new year, by the time it was all over, the Lantern Festival was approaching.

One morning, while the emperor was reading memorials in his study, Fu Hai came to report, "Your Majesty, the lanterns offered as tribute from Quanzhou have arrived."

This was one of the palace rituals for the Lantern Festival.

Every year, lanterns would be offered as tribute from the common people to the palace, symbolizing peace and prosperity for the nation. The emperor would then present some of these lanterns to the Empress Dowager in the Palace of Benevolent Peace, and award the rest to the various consorts, symbolizing the royal family celebrating together with the people.

As soon as Fu Hai finished speaking, Yuwen Lan suddenly remembered something.

There seemed to be a young lady who loved lanterns very much.

Even an ordinary revolving lantern could make her happy for days.

So he said, "First send them to Ganlu Palace, and let Consort Yi choose a few."

Fu Hai acknowledged the order, thinking to himself that Consort Yi was indeed favored by His Majesty, and was about to leave.

But before he had taken more than a few steps, he heard the emperor say, "Wait."

Fu Hai quickly halted his steps, "This servant is here."

Was there something else to be bestowed?

Yuwen Lan had simply changed his mind at the last moment, and said, "Have Consort Yi come here to choose instead."

Fu Hai was stunned - have Consort Yi come to Qianming Palace to choose lanterns?

Indeed, that was what Yuwen Lan had said.

-- He felt that although Yanshu's special ability was useful, she seemed to lack discretion, even knowing about others' bedroom affairs...

It really wasn't good.

So when there was an opportunity, it was better to have her come out more, to divert her attention.

Others didn't understand his good intentions.

Fu Hai was stunned for a moment, then realized - could it be that His Majesty was missing his beauty, and thus found an excuse to summon her?

Heh, they had only parted this morning, yet their affection was truly as close as glue.

So he quickly acknowledged the order and happily ran off to Ganlu Palace.

Yuwen Lan: "..."

Although... but...

Ahem, did he really seem so obvious now?

At that time, Yanshu was bored in her palace.

After taking down Xie Pei, she had been happy and relaxed for a few days, and had become somewhat lazy.

Just as she was idly holding her brush, she saw Fu Hai arrive.

"This servant pays respects to Consort Yi. The Lantern Festival lanterns offered as tribute from Quanzhou Prefecture have just arrived. His Majesty requests that you go to Qianming Palace to make your selection."

Yanshu was surprised, "He wants me to go to Qianming Palace to choose?"

Fu Hai nodded quickly, "Yes, before they are distributed to the various places, His Majesty wants you to choose the ones you like first."

Yanshu's eyes lit up. Well, that was wonderful! She loved lanterns the most!

She was bored anyway, so she quickly agreed, changed her clothes, and went to Qianming Palace.

When she entered the gates of Qianming Palace, she saw Yuwen Lan standing in the corridor.

His tall and straight figure, in indigo wide-sleeved robes, with his black hair tied up in a purple-gold crown, made him look even more handsome.

The sight of the beautiful man put her in a good mood. Yanshu came forward and curtsied, "Your humble consort pays respects to Your Majesty."

Yuwen Lan made a sound of acknowledgment and looked her over as well.

He saw that she was wearing a double-sided brocade jacket with a horse-face skirt, looking as pretty as the welcoming spring on early branches.

He was also in a good mood, so he said gently, "These are the lanterns offered as tribute from Quanzhou, which have always been famous. I had them placed here, go choose two that you like."

In fact, as soon as Yanshu had entered the palace gates, she had seen them - dozens of lanterns hanging under the eaves, colorful and beautiful beyond words.

She happily agreed and began to choose.

Hmm, she hadn't realized until she looked closely, but these lanterns were even better!

Especially since they came from another region, the style was different from those made in the palace.

Besides revolving lanterns and lotus lanterns, there were even boneless lanterns made directly from hard paper, painted with various landscape patterns, which were very beautiful.

There were also eight-sided transparent gauze lanterns. Seeing Yanshu's curious expression, a young eunuch quickly lit the candle inside to show her. It turned out the entire lantern was transparent, like a small moon.

She couldn't help but clap her hands, "Wow, this is great!"

Yuwen Lan asked, "So you want this one?"

Yanshu nodded with a smile, "Thank you, Your Majesty! But one is enough for your humble consort."

There weren't many of these gauze lanterns, and one could tell at a glance that they were precious. Several still needed to be presented to the Empress Dowager, so she didn't dare compete with the Empress Dowager.

"Please give your humble consort that lotus lantern as well."

She had wanted one last time, but hadn't had the chance to ask.

Yuwen Lan nodded and told a young eunuch to take it down for her.

Just then, Fu Hai reported, "Your Majesty, Lord Zou requests an audience."

Lord Zou?

Yanshu's eyes lit up. Could it be that Hanlin Academy scholar with excellent taste who helped publish her story books?

Then she heard Yuwen Lan say, "Let him in."

Fu Hai acknowledged and went to relay the message.

Not long after, Zou Mozhong entered. Seeing Yanshu was also present, he quickly bowed and said, "This minister pays respects to Your Majesty and Consort Yi."

Yanshu nodded, then heard Yuwen Lan ask, "Have the Imperial Academy matters been settled?"

-- The Imperial Academy admitted new students every spring. In the past, it had always been led by Wei Ruzhang, the Grand Secretary of Wenhua Court. Since Wei Ruzhang had been dismissed from office at the end of last year for kidnapping commoners, this task had fallen to the Hanlin Academy this year.

Zou Mozhong quickly replied, "After discussions with the Imperial Academy, we plan to first select forty people from among the children of court officials and noble families; then select sixty people from outstanding students recommended by various regions; finally, select about fifty people from among those who failed the imperial examinations. May I ask Your Majesty's opinion on this?"

Yuwen Lan said, "Reduce the first batch by ten people and add them to the second batch."

Most of these children from noble families were uneducated and only hoped to use such opportunities to enter the Imperial Academy and idle away their time. Some, like the nephew of Kang Guangliang, the Vice Minister of Personnel, even bullied commoner students in the Imperial Academy, corrupting the atmosphere.

If so, what was the point of having them?

Zou Mozhong quickly agreed.

Then he heard the emperor add, "Even for the remaining thirty people, they must be strictly selected. Under no circumstances should anyone be admitted based on personal connections or power. If any favoritism is discovered, it will be treated as dereliction of duty."

Zou Mozhong quickly replied with a serious expression, "Your Majesty's words are absolutely correct. This will make the selection process more intense and encourage everyone to study diligently to become talented individuals."

Yuwen Lan nodded, "I'm glad you understand, Minister Zou. The Imperial Academy represents the face of the court and cultivates pillars for the state. It must not become a laughingstock."

Zou Mozhong nodded repeatedly.

With that, the important matters were concluded.

Zou Mozhong paused for a moment, then suddenly asked, "By the way, Your Majesty, we haven't seen any new manuscripts from the Carefree Scholar in the past few days. Has his illness worsened?"

Hmm? The Carefree Scholar?

Yanshu accurately caught her pen name and immediately pricked up her ears.

Yuwen Lan glanced at her and said, "No, she has basically recovered."

The Scholar Zou asked again, "If that's the case, why haven't we seen any new works from her in the past few days?"

Well, about that...

Yanshu felt a bit guilty.

Yuwen Lan glanced at her again from the corner of his eye and smiled, "She's probably been busy with other things."

Yanshu's face reddened slightly.

Tsk, she had been too indulgent these past couple of days, basking in the joy of defeating her opponents, and hadn't managed to write any new stories for several days in a row.

Then she heard Scholar Zou exclaim, "Oh my! I wonder what's keeping him so busy? Your Majesty doesn't know, but people outside are all waiting to read his new stories!"

As soon as he finished speaking, Yanshu couldn't help but ask, "Minister Zou, are you saying that readers outside are waiting for the Carefree Scholar's stories?"

Zou Mozhong quickly replied, "I wouldn't dare to speak falsely. Your Highness doesn't know, but in recent days, many readers have been waiting at the bookshop doors early every morning, not for anything else, but just to see this Carefree Scholar's new stories. Some who can't get them become so anxious they can't eat or sleep, scratching their heads in frustration."

Yanshu: "!!!"

She had no idea she was so needed!

Yuwen Lan: "..."

Before he could say anything, she excitedly told Zou Mozhong, "Tell everyone not to worry, new stories will be coming out soon."

Zou Mozhong was somewhat surprised and quickly asked, "Could it be that Your Highness also knows this Carefree Scholar?"

"I know him, quite well actually," Yanshu smiled, "Don't worry, I'll help you urge her on."

The Scholar Zou was delighted and repeatedly expressed his thanks, "Then this official thanks Your Highness on behalf of the readers."

"No need for such formalities."

Yanshu waved her hand, smiling generously.

Yuwen Lan spoke up, "If Minister Zou has no other matters, you may take your leave."

Zou Mozhong quickly agreed and left the Qianming Palace.

Finally without outsiders present, Yuwen Lan looked at Yanshu and was about to speak, but saw her hurriedly bow to him, "This consort will take her leave first."

She was about to walk out.

Yuwen Lan grabbed her arm with a frown, "Where are you going?"

It was almost noon, and he had planned to have lunch with her.

However, Yanshu urgently said, "Didn't Your Majesty hear? So many readers are waiting for me, I must hurry back to write stories!"

Yuwen Lan: "...What's wrong with waiting a little longer? There's no need to be so rushed."

What's wrong with waiting a little longer?

Yanshu immediately raised an eyebrow and said, "It's just like when ministers urgently need to report important matters to you. How could you bear to wait?"

Yuwen Lan: "..."

Indeed, he couldn't wait.

Then he heard her clicking her tongue, [As a storyteller, aren't the readers her meal ticket? How could she keep the sugar daddies waiting for so long!]

Yuwen Lan: "???"

Sugar... daddies?

What did that mean?

However, before he could say anything else, he saw her pick up the lantern she had chosen, bow to him, and hurry out.

Upon returning to the Ganlu Palace, Yanshu immediately began writing furiously, even eating lunch casually.

Tsk, upon hearing how much she was needed by her readers, her inspiration suddenly exploded and she wrote tirelessly until the afternoon.

It wasn't until Rendong came to remind her, "My Lady, there's the Lantern Festival banquet tonight. You need to get dressed and made up, or you'll be late."

Lantern Festival banquet?

Yanshu only then remembered this and had to stop writing, replying, "Alright."

— This was her first banquet since her promotion, and on such an important day as the Lantern Festival. She indeed needed to dress up properly, otherwise wouldn't it lose face for the Emperor?

So after the efforts of Rendong, Lianxin, and the others, she wore a cherry-colored off-shoulder crossed-collar long robe sent by the Imperial Wardrobe a few days ago, embroidered with exquisite chrysanthemum patterns. Her black hair was styled in a slanted bun with a jeweled plum blossom hairpin, making her look gorgeous and noble.

Twilight had already fallen outside, and Rendong brought her a sable cloak. After putting it on, Yanshu set out.

Unfortunately, when she arrived at the Hall of Gentle Ceremony, she happened to meet Consort Zhou getting down from her sedan chair.

Yanshu quickly stopped to bow, "Greetings to Consort Zhou."

A consort without a title still felt a bit awkward to address.

Moreover, in the past, Consort An would always have followed behind her, but today she was alone, looking much less imposing.

Consort Zhou merely gave her a sidelong glance and said with a strange smile, "Isn't this Noble Lady Li, oh no, it should be Consort Yi now. You're dressed quite eye-catchingly today. I remember you used to prefer plain styles, didn't you?"

Yanshu pretended not to hear the sarcasm in her words and just smiled foolishly, "This consort wouldn't dare. This consort doesn't come close to even a fraction of Your Highness's beauty. Your Highness is truly the most eye-catching."

Eye-catching?

Consort Zhou felt something was off about this remark and was about to lash out when another sedan chair stopped nearby.

The palace maid by the sedan quickly lifted the curtain, and someone stepped down.

It was none other than Consort Ning, who had been confined to her quarters a month ago at the ice skating banquet.

Oh right, that was on the fifteenth day of the twelfth lunar month, and today was the fifteenth of the first month. It had been exactly a month, so her confinement was over.

Yanshu had no choice but to bow again, "Greetings to Consort Ning."

There was no way around it, as this consort also outranked her. If she didn't bow, people would only seize on her mistake.

However, Consort Ning didn't bother to acknowledge her, instead looking first at Consort Zhou.

After being confined for a whole month, she had finally figured it out. Back then, it was this woman who had someone leak information to her, using her as a pawn.

Afterward, she had been locked in her palace for an entire month, lost Consort Li, and implicated her aunt, the Eldest Princess!

In her heart, she had stabbed the other party with a knife countless times. Now, Consort Ning raised an eyebrow and smiled, "Well, if it isn't Noble Consort, oh no, it's Consort Zhou now. Long time no see."

At present, what Consort Zhou hated most was people mentioning her demotion. Hearing this, her face immediately turned cold, and she said, "Weren't you confined to your quarters? So you've been released today?"

Consort Ning struggled to suppress her anger and continued to smile, "Yes, I've been away for a while, and so many things have happened? We're actually of the same rank now? In that case, I don't need to bow to you anymore. I remember you're half a year younger than me, so I'll call you Sister Zhou."

Consort Zhou gave her a cold look and said, "I have no need to discuss sisterhood with you. Listen to my advice, be careful since you've just been released. Don't anger the Empress Dowager again and get locked up once more."

With that, she took a step onto the stairs and entered the hall.

"You..."

Consort Ning was a step too late and had to swallow her words. Only then did she remember Yanshu, looking her up and down before saying, "Noble Lady Li, oh no, it's Consort Yi now. I heard you bravely protected the Emperor and were injured. How are you doing now?"

Yanshu quickly replied, "This consort has recovered much. Thank you for your concern, Your Highness."

But then she heard the other say, "Although you were injured, getting promoted to consort makes it worth it for you, I suppose."

At these words, Rendong beside Yanshu immediately stiffened. Was Consort Ning implying that her mistress had exchanged her injury for a higher rank?

This was really too much. Who would risk their life just for a promotion?

However, Yanshu smiled and said, "Actually, this consort just acted on instinct. Fortunately, it was only a minor injury. The promotion was purely due to His Majesty's great benevolence. However, this consort believes that if Your Highness had been present at the time, you would have done the same."

Consort Ning paused. Was this a jab at her recent confinement?

Just as she was about to lash out, the imperial carriage suddenly arrived and stopped. To everyone's surprise, the Emperor himself alighted from it.

Yuwen Lan wore a black dragon robe, his face cold and his gaze sharp as a knife. Consort Ning hurriedly bowed her head and greeted, "Greetings to Your Majesty."

Yanshu also followed suit with her greeting.

Yuwen Lan only said, "It's cold outside. Why aren't you entering the hall?"

Consort Ning dared not say anything more and could only respond with a "Yes," following the imperial procession inside.

After entering the hall, everyone took their seats.

Not long after, the Empress Dowager also arrived, surprisingly accompanied by Consort An.

Consort Zhou was stunned and immediately shot a piercing glare their way.

Well well, she had been wondering why this wretched woman suddenly dared to defy her.

So she had cozied up to the Empress Dowager!

Consort Ning, however, smiled sarcastically.

This stupid woman, now abandoned by all, even the Empress Dowager, her own aunt, had given up on her. What right did she have to be so arrogant?

After everyone had paid their respects to the Empress Dowager, the Eldest Princess and her husband Zhao Chengwen entered the hall.

Due to the assassination attempt at the beginning of the year, the palace had become extremely cautious lately. The usual Lantern Festival banquet for officials had been canceled, and tonight's feast only included the Empress Dowager, Emperor, Empresses, and the Eldest Princess and her husband.

The Eldest Princess still exuded a powerful aura. Looking around, no woman in the room could compare to her. As she approached, she bowed to the Emperor and Empress Dowager, saying, "Your subject pays respects to Mother Empress and Your Majesty. On this auspicious Lantern Festival, I wish you both good health and prosperity."

My goodness, she completely ignored all the other consorts in the hall.

In contrast, her husband beside her was as quiet and reserved as ever, simply bowing along with her, like a shy wife next to her husband.

The Empress Dowager nodded slightly. "No need for such formalities. We're all family here. Please, take your seats."

The Eldest Princess complied and led her husband to their seats.

She glanced at Consort Ning and gave a slight nod.

At that moment, Consort Ning felt much more confident.

That fool Consort Zhou had lost the Empress Dowager's favor, but she still had the Eldest Princess as her aunt. So in the end, she had won.

With everyone present, the banquet began.

Everyone took turns toasting the Empress Dowager and Emperor. The Empress Dowager sighed, "The New Year celebrations have passed in the blink of an eye. The events of the past fortnight have been truly frightening. I hope you all cherish the present and mind your duties."

Everyone agreed in unison. As the court musicians began to play and dancers performed, the guests started eating and drinking.

After a while, the Empress Dowager said to Yuwen Lan, "With spring's arrival, tributes are coming in from various regions, and both masters and servants are changing into spring attire. Palace affairs are complex. I was thinking of finding someone to help oversee the Internal Affairs Bureau, lest they make any mistakes."

At these words, everyone's hearts skipped a beat. Who was the Empress Dowager planning to promote?

Consort Zhou had clearly been abandoned, and Consort Ning was the Eldest Princess's person, so the Empress Dowager would certainly not use her. Did that mean only Consort An was left?

Unexpectedly, the Eldest Princess immediately said, "If Mother Empress doesn't mind, I can recommend someone. Consort Ning is meticulous and handles matters carefully. She could take on this important task."

Hearing this, Yanshu, who was eating, inwardly clicked her tongue. The Eldest Princess was too forceful. The Empress Dowager was clearly intending to promote Consort An, yet she recommended Consort Ning. Was she trying to force the Empress Dowager to agree?

But the Empress Dowager wasn't a pushover either. She certainly wouldn't agree.

Sure enough, the Empress Dowager smiled and said, "You've been away from the palace for too long. I see things more clearly from inside. When it comes to meticulousness, Consort An is superior. I think it's better to let her handle it."

The meaning was clear - the Eldest Princess was like water spilled from a bucket, having no right to interfere in palace affairs now that she was married off.

Yanshu, who had been secretly watching the drama unfold, thought to herself, "Well played!" As expected, the older ginger is spicier. With the Empress Dowager's words, the Eldest Princess and Consort Ning were left in an awkward position.

However, the Eldest Princess persisted, "Consort An is good, but her rank..."

Before she could finish, the Empress Dowager interjected with a smile, "Rank is temporary. Besides, it's just helping to manage the Internal Affairs Bureau. They're all mistresses of the palace. Surely the Internal Affairs Bureau doesn't discriminate based on rank?"

At these words, Zhang Laishun, the head of the Internal Affairs Bureau who had been waiting nearby, immediately knelt and said, "This servant would not dare."

The Empress Dowager nodded and smiled, "That's right. Let's have Consort An do it. If she doesn't perform well, we can always replace her."

Though her tone was gentle, her meaning was quite firm.

As soon as she finished speaking, Consort An hurriedly stood up and said, "This consort is unworthy. I fear my clumsiness will not live up to the responsibility."

The Empress Dowager replied, "Don't disappoint my trust in you. Just do your best."

Only then did Consort An agree, sitting back down with a pleased expression.

Consort Ning was naturally displeased.

However, she didn't miss this opportunity to stab at her old rival.

So she smiled at Consort An and said, "Consort An often used to follow Consort Zhou. She must have learned many good methods and will certainly be able to handle this task."

Hearing this, Consort An froze, while Consort Zhou was about to explode.

This bitch! How dare she mock her like this!

So she smiled back and said, "Consort Ning is not bad either. By the way, who was it that you used to follow around? It's been so long, I can't quite remember."

...

Yanshu secretly hid to the side, eating while observing the battle.

"Fight, fight!" she thought to herself.

She had been feeling bored, so why not observe this multi-sided conflict closely, to see who would come out on top? Perhaps she could gain some experience for writing a novel in the future.

Yuwen Lan, who had been discreetly watching her with nothing better to do, thought, "???"

How could she think about writing a novel at a time like this?

Was she going mad?

But she hadn't forgotten to eat. While secretly watching the drama unfold, she helped herself to the freshly served fire-roasted lamb chops.

"Mmm, these lamb chops are very flavorful. One bite and the rich fat melts in your mouth, leaving a lingering aroma."

"This evening jasper soup is also delicious and fragrant, perfect for cleansing the palate. Especially the evening jasper, which is quite rare. We might not get to eat it more than a few times a year. Miss this chance and you might not get another."

Yuwen Lan: "..."

Truly nothing could affect her appetite.

Of course not.

For Yanshu, eating delicious food while watching drama unfold was one of life's greatest pleasures!

As she watched, she couldn't help but comment to herself:

In a clash between the Empress Dowager and the Eldest Princess, the Empress Dowager would certainly be more formidable. The Empress Dowager was cunning and experienced, while the Eldest Princess was bold but unwise.

Consort Zhou and Consort Ning were evenly matched. One had just been released from punishment, the other had just been demoted, yet neither showed any signs of restraint, openly quarreling in front of the Emperor.

However, while the Empress Dowager had abandoned Consort Zhou, the Eldest Princess was still supporting Consort Ning. In this aspect, Consort Ning was luckier.

Just as she was thinking this, she heard the system sigh, "Consort Ning's position isn't secure either. Her uncle, the Imperial Son-in-law, has several mistresses outside the palace. If the Eldest Princess finds out, it's basically over for her."

Yanshu: "???"

What an interesting piece of gossip!

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