My Beloved Concubine Only Wants to Eat Melons
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Chapter 33 Table of contents

Having started to enjoy such an interesting bit of gossip, one must naturally continue to savor it in detail.

Yanshu immediately turned her attention away from the scheming at the banquet and said to the system, [The Eldest Princess is so formidable, yet her consort dares to keep mistresses? Has he eaten a bear's heart and a leopard's gall?]

At this moment, Yuwen Lan, who was feeling deeply bored with Consort Zhou, Consort Ning, the Empress Dowager, and the Eldest Princess, thought, "???"

What?

Zhao Chengwen is keeping mistresses?

The system calmly explained, [It all started with the consort Zhao Chengwen. He was originally the third-place winner in the imperial examinations. He's quite talented, good-looking, and comes from a noble family. After he passed the exams with flying colors, the Eldest Princess set her sights on him at first glance and immediately went to ask her imperial father to issue a marriage decree.]

Yanshu clicked her tongue, [Indeed, who could compete with the Emperor's daughter?]

But what did this have to do with him keeping mistresses?

The system continued, [Actually, this consort originally had a favored concubine in his household, but the Eldest Princess certainly wouldn't tolerate any rivals. So before their marriage, his family sent the concubine away. Zhao Chengwen was heartbroken, but he couldn't disobey the imperial decree, so he had no choice but to accept it.]

[At first, he thought the Eldest Princess was noble and beautiful, but once they started living together, he discovered that her personality was too strong. The household was essentially a matriarchy, and how could he, a noble scholar and top exam candidate, willingly submit to such treatment?]

[That's when he started thinking about his former concubine again. He secretly sent people to find her, and once they did, the consort bought a residence to house her.]

Yanshu asked, [So it seems the first mistress was an old flame he couldn't forget. What about the others?]

Yuwen Lan, who was eavesdropping, thought, [??? Old flame? There are others???]

The system continued, [Once this consort got a taste for keeping mistresses, he found it sweet. He felt so stifled in front of the Eldest Princess that just one mistress wasn't enough to restore his confidence! So he quickly sought out a young and beautiful courtesan from Yangzhou and set her up in another residence.]

Yanshu said, [Oh, so the second one was from Yangzhou. Are there more?]

Yuwen Lan: "???"

There's more?

The system replied, [Not half a year after the second one, he bought a singing girl from Nanjing; later, he bought a girl who had just come of age from a matchmaker, intending to groom her... As time went on, he became addicted.]

Yanshu: [...You can get addicted to this? Let's count: the concubine, the Yangzhou courtesan, the singing girl, and the young one he's grooming... that's four mistresses already, plus the Eldest Princess at home... This is even more extravagant than the Emperor! How does he manage his time with so many? Hasn't the Eldest Princess noticed?]

Yuwen Lan: "???"

What does she mean, more extravagant than him???

He discreetly glanced to the side and saw Zhao Chengwen attentively serving dishes to the Eldest Princess, showing no signs of being such a daring character.

The system explained, [The Eldest Princess never imagined he would be so bold. Besides, he is a talented scholar after all. The Eldest Princess is often out socializing and rarely at home. He's served her for so many years, so he can find opportunities.]

However, just as the system finished speaking, the Empress Dowager suddenly asked Yanshu, "When will Consort Yi's family arrive in the capital?"

Yanshu paused, then quickly responded, "Your Majesty, I received a letter recently. My parents left our hometown on the tenth and should arrive in the capital in four or five days."

The Empress Dowager nodded, smiling warmly, "Soon, then."

Yanshu smiled and agreed, but inwardly she thought, the Empress Dowager's tactic of changing the subject was truly masterful.

Sure enough, as soon as she finished speaking, she noticed Consort Ning and Consort Zhou, who had been glaring at each other, turn to look at her. The Eldest Princess also cast her a contemptuous glance.

"Well, congratulations to Consort Yi," Consort Ning said with an odd smile. "Your family can finally come to the capital. These past few years must have been difficult for you."

Yanshu hurriedly replied, "I thank Your Highness. His Majesty's kindness is boundless, and I am filled with gratitude."

Consort Zhou chimed in with a smile, "His Majesty's kindness is indeed boundless. Your family must be overjoyed, right? To have raised a daughter like you, your Li family's ancestral graves must be glowing with pride."

Yanshu responded with another smile, "I am unworthy. I cannot compare to even a fraction of Your Highness's virtues."

Hmph, these two are just trying to mock her family's low status and lack of experience in the capital. How unoriginal.

At that moment, the Eldest Princess lazily fanned herself with a feather fan and asked, "So where will they stay when they arrive? Have you found a residence for them? Does your family have a mansion in the capital?"

Yanshu inwardly scoffed. Was she worried that her family couldn't afford a house?

Hmph, with her current wealth, she could buy a mansion just by writing a couple of novels!

But before she could answer, the Emperor suddenly spoke up, "Speaking of which, Consort Yi's bravery in protecting me last time shows that her parents have raised her well, teaching her to be loyal to me. I must reward them appropriately."

Reward?

Everyone was stunned and turned to look at him, wondering what else he could reward her with.

Hadn't he already promoted her rank?

Yanshu was also surprised. Could it be that the Emperor wanted to reward her parents with a lot of money?

That would be great! Hehe.

One can never have too much money, after all.

However, they saw Yuwen Lan turn to the Empress Dowager and say, "I intend to bestow the title of Marquis of Loyal Righteousness on Consort Yi's father, grant him a mansion in the capital, an annual salary of a thousand dan of grain, and a hundred mu of farmland."

What? Marquis of Loyal Righteousness?

Everyone was stunned once again.

Yanshu herself was shocked.

Marquis of Loyal Righteousness?

Is... is the Emperor planning to grant her father a noble title?

Yes, that's exactly what Yuwen Lan had said.

And his tone made it clear that he wasn't consulting with the Empress Dowager about this decision.

Especially since the Empress Dowager had just given Consort An authority over internal affairs without consulting him.

He hadn't opposed the Empress Dowager, so she had no reason to oppose him.

Sure enough, the Empress Dowager smiled and said, "It is indeed appropriate. Consort Yi's bravery in protecting Your Majesty that day is worthy of emulation throughout the empire. Your Majesty may proceed as you see fit."

Everyone turned to look at Yanshu again, their hearts filled with envy and resentment—

How could such an enormous stroke of luck fall on her head???

Yanshu could only hurriedly stand up, bow her head to Yuwen Lan, and say, "This consort thanks Your Majesty for your great kindness."

Yuwen Lan smiled magnanimously, "No need for formalities. This is what your father deserves."

Yanshu thanked him again and sat down.

However, the others felt quite uneasy.

Especially Consort Ning and Consort Zhou.

—What kind of situation was this?

They had barely finished mocking Consort Yi, and now her family was being granted a noble title???

The Eldest Princess also secretly rolled her eyes—

Hmph, it's just a marquis title, and she's so excited about it.

How unsophisticated!

At that moment, someone in the hall was the first to congratulate Yanshu, "Congratulations, Consort Yi."

It was Consort An.

Following her lead, everyone had no choice but to say, "Congratulations, Consort Yi."

In truth, if anyone was the most displeased, it was probably Consort An.

In just over a month, Li Yanshu had leaped from a lowly Beauty to nearly her equal.

And now she had unexpectedly gained a noble title!

Yet her own grandfather, implicated in the Cheng'en Duke's case, still hadn't been allowed to return to court.

Wouldn't this mean that she would be overshadowed by Yanshu?

How is this fair!

At the hour of Xu, the banquet ended, and everyone dispersed.

Yanshu also returned to her chambers, carrying the unexpected joy of the day with her.

Hehe, now that her family had a noble title, her parents, grandmother, and younger brother wouldn't lack for money. They would have more food than they could eat and collect a substantial amount of land rent each year!!!

She was so happy that she even hummed a tune while bathing.

Rendong was also delighted, scrubbing her back while saying with a smile, "With this, the master won't have to secretly use his own salary to help others anymore, and the mistress won't have to be angry about it."

"That's right!"

Yanshu closed her eyes contentedly in the bathtub.

Now that her loved ones' lives had improved, she could focus on writing novels to give back to her readers!

Thinking this, after she got out of the bathtub and dressed, she went to her desk.

—Tonight was the fifteenth, and the Emperor wouldn't be visiting any consorts, so she planned to have a productive writing session!

However, before she could put pen to paper, Fu Hai arrived, urgently saying to her, "Please change your clothes quickly, Your Highness. His Majesty is waiting for you outside!"

Yanshu was stunned, "His Majesty is waiting for me? But he's not supposed to come to the harem tonight..."

Fu Hai smiled and said, "His Majesty wants to take you out. Every year on the Lantern Festival, His Majesty goes out to observe the people's conditions, and today is no exception. He specifically sent me to ask if you would like to accompany him. The carriage is waiting outside right now."

Go out?

Yanshu's eyes lit up, and she immediately put down her pen and stood up. "Alright, just wait a moment, I'll be quick!"

She hurriedly called for Rendong to help her change her clothes.

It had been three years since she'd left the palace, so of course she wanted to go out and get some fresh air!

Naturally, since they were going out, she couldn't wear her palace attire. Fortunately, she still had her old clothes from before. It didn't take long for her to change and head out, following Fu Hai onto the carriage that had already been prepared.

Tsk, this carriage looked ordinary on the outside, clearly not from the palace. It seemed the emperor indeed went out frequently.

When she got into the carriage, she saw that Yuwen Lan was already sitting inside.

He was wearing a dark cyan brocade robe, with no crown on his head, looking like some wealthy young master.

Of course, his looks and aura were incomparable to any ordinary rich young man.

She hurriedly bowed, "This humble consort greets Your Majesty."

Yuwen Lan reached out and pulled her to the seat, raising an eyebrow, "We need to change how we address each other now."

Oh, that's right. Yanshu then called him, "Young Master."

Yuwen Lan raised an eyebrow, "Shouldn't it be husband?"

If he was a young master, wouldn't that make her a maid?

But Yanshu thought to herself, [So his alias is a married man, I thought he was planning to go out to see beautiful women.]

Yuwen Lan: ???

What did she mean by "alias"?

Just as he was curious, he heard her softly call out, "Husband."

Ahem, this was the first time she had addressed someone like this, and her face couldn't help but redden.

Yuwen Lan, however, found her voice pleasing to the ear.

Looking at her appearance again, his heart grew increasingly joyful. He let out an "Mm" and held her hand in his palm, then ordered towards the window, "Let's go."

The carriage began to move.

After leaving the palace gates, the bustling streets gradually appeared before their eyes.

The capital had always been prosperous, and today being the Lantern Festival, the streets were even more crowded with people.

Yanshu peeked out curiously while asking, "Your Maj-, husband, where are we going?"

Yuwen Lan instead asked her, "Where do you want to go?"

Oh, so she could choose?

Yanshu quickly said, "This humble wife is not familiar with the capital, but I've heard that Tianjing Lane has many delicious foods. Why don't we go there and take a look?"

Yuwen Lan: "..."

Why was it still about food?

"Didn't you eat enough earlier?" he looked at her amusedly.

Yanshu pouted, "Tianjing Lane is all about street food, naturally different from the palace cuisine."

It was normal to want a change of taste after eating grand meals every day.

But Yuwen Lan raised an eyebrow again, "Oh? If you're not familiar with the capital, how do you know Tianjing Lane is all about street food?"

Yanshu: "..."

She had accidentally let something slip?

She hurriedly covered up, "This wife just heard it from the palace servants. Many of their families are in the capital, so they naturally know more."

-- In fact, she had learned all this while "eating melons" (listening to gossip).

Besides Tianjing Lane, she also knew that Embroidery Lane sold cosmetics and silk threads; near Junyi Bridge, because it was close to the imperial examination hall, they mostly sold writing brushes, ink, paper, and inkstones; Silver Street sold tea leaves and cloth, while the area around Hundred Flowers Lane was the capital's famous red-light district.

Speaking of which, there was reportedly a restaurant on Yang Lou Street that catered to wealthy women. The men inside were all as handsome as Pan An, and had many special skills – playing the zither and flute, composing poetry and painting. Each had eyes like autumn waters, broad shoulders and slim waists, suave and elegant...

Hehe, in short, completely different from those greasy bearded men.

Yuwen Lan: ???

What? There was such a place in the capital???

And what did she mean by that "hehe" just now???

He shuddered and immediately ordered the carriage, "Go to Tianjing Lane."

And unconsciously tightened his grip on her hand.

Before long, they arrived at Tianjing Lane.

The two got off the carriage and saw that the surroundings were as bright as day with lanterns, bustling with crowds.

It turned out that Tianjing Lane not only sold food, but tonight there was also a lantern market, attracting half the city's population to come and admire the lanterns.

Yanshu hadn't seen such a lively scene for a long time. She felt as if she was in another world, her eyes darting here and there, almost not enough to take it all in.

Yuwen Lan, still feeling uneasy, held her hand tightly the whole way.

After walking through the crowd for a while, suddenly Yanshu said, "Look, there are so many people at this wonton stall, it must be delicious."

Yuwen Lan looked in the direction she pointed and indeed saw a wonton stall in front of a shop, with five or six small tables beside it, all full of people.

He frowned, "You want to eat this?"

Yanshu nodded with a smile, "Since we're here, why not give it a try?"

Yuwen Lan still frowned, "But there's nowhere to sit."

Yanshu said expertly, "Let's order first, by the time the wontons are ready, there will be seats available."

She then called out to the wonton vendor, "Two bowls of wontons, please."

Yuwen Lan quickly corrected, "One bowl is enough, I'm not hungry."

But Yanshu said, "We've already ordered, if you don't eat, Your Maj-, husband, I'll eat it."

Then her eyes lit up again, "Look, there are seats over there."

She quickly pulled him over.

Just as they sat down, the stall owner brought over the freshly cooked wontons.

Yuwen Lan looked down and saw that they were just two ordinary ceramic bowls, each containing about twenty wontons, with steaming clear soup poured over them, and a few bits of green onion floating on top.

He raised an eyebrow, wondering if this could really taste good?

But when he looked up, he saw that the girl had already started eating.

"Mmm, this soup must be made from chicken bones, with some lard added. The wontons are delicious too, not bad at all."

Yanshu had eaten three wontons in a row before she noticed that someone was sitting still, watching her eat.

"..."

She tried to persuade him, "It's a rare opportunity, husband, don't you really want to try? After drinking earlier, a bowl of this would be very comforting."

This "husband" made Yuwen Lan feel pleased. He paused for a moment, and finally picked up the spoon to taste it.

Hmm, he could tell the seasoning was simple, but there was a unique fragrance.

The hot soup with the smooth wontons entering his stomach, in this chilly weather, indeed made one feel warm and comfortable.

Then he saw Yanshu ask him, "Isn't it delicious? This kind of street flavor can't be made at home."

Yuwen Lan nodded slightly. He was about to eat more when he saw her extend her spoon into his bowl to scoop up some wontons. "Don't waste it. If husband isn't hungry, I'll eat it for you."

She then proceeded to scoop five or six wontons from his bowl.

Yuwen Lan: "..."

He wasn't hungry, but could her small body really eat so much?

It would be better not to let her eat too much and get bloated, so he quickly started eating as well.

Before long, they finished the wontons, paid, and continued walking.

Yanshu hadn't expected that there would be even more street food ahead.

After walking a few steps, they saw a restaurant grilling lamb skewers at its entrance. The fat from the lamb was dripping onto the charcoal fire, releasing an intense aroma.

Not far away, there was a vendor selling baked flatbread from a hanging oven. The freshly baked flatbreads were golden yellow, covered in sesame seeds, looking crispy at first glance.

Walking a few more steps, they came across a stall selling freshly cooked tangyuan (sweet rice balls). The plump white tangyuan actually came in five flavors, including black sesame, red bean paste, jujube paste, winter melon sugar, and so on, dazzling Yanshu's eyes.

Tsk tsk tsk, each dish looked so tempting, but her stomach was too full, she really couldn't fit anymore.

[Wuwuwu, if I had known we were coming out, I should have eaten less earlier. Look at how that lamb is grilled, crispy on the outside and tender inside, and it's even dripping oil! And that big flatbread, if it were cut open and stuffed with some roasted lamb, it would be perfect...]

[Should I try to press down a bit and eat a flatbread?]

Yuwen Lan, who had been silently listening, thought: "..."

Could one really press down food like that?

Truly afraid she might get bloated, he had to speak up, "If there's a chance, we can come out again."

Yanshu quickly looked at him, "Do you really mean it, husband?"

Yuwen Lan smiled, "Next time we come out, I'll definitely bring you along."

Only then did she finally feel at ease, quickly agreeing and abandoning her previous thoughts.

However, the small items sold along the way were also quite nice. Since it was a rare outing, she bought two skeins of silk thread for making tassels and a peach wood comb.

Seeing that they had been out for nearly half an hour and the crowd on the street was thinning, the two decided to head back.

On the way to the carriage, just as Yuwen Lan was about to get in, Yanshu suddenly pulled him back.

Yuwen Lan was puzzled, "What's wrong?"

She pointed across the street and said in a low voice, "Husband, look, that person... looks like the Prince Consort."

Prince Consort?

Yuwen Lan looked in the direction she pointed. At the entrance of a pastry shop diagonally across from them, a man had just come out carrying some pastries. His figure and appearance did indeed resemble Zhao Chengwen, the Eldest Princess's consort.

Then he heard Yanshu think to herself, [Tsk tsk, it really is Zhao Chengwen! The banquet just ended, and he's out on the streets? Surely he's not going to visit a mistress?]

Yuwen Lan was thinking the same thing.

The Eldest Princess's household had thousands of servants, why would he need to come out to buy pastries himself?

While pondering, she saw the other person carrying some snacks and getting onto a nearby carriage.

Yanshu's heart tightened, and she hurriedly said to him, "Isn't it a bit strange for the princess consort to be out buying snacks so late?"

[This fresh gossip is the most delicious! Judging by the direction, could he be going to see Little Six? I must hurry and follow, I can't let him get away!!!]

Yuwen Lan: "..."

But it's just as well.

He immediately pulled her into the carriage and instructed outside, "Follow that carriage."

The coachman complied, and as soon as Zhao Chengwen's carriage started moving, he quietly followed.

The Tianjing Lane area was densely populated with residences, and after numerous twists and turns, the wheels gradually came to a stop.

The coachman reported from outside, "Master, the alley ahead is too narrow to enter."

Hearing this, Yanshu glanced at Yuwen Lan and said, "Husband, shall we get off the carriage?"

[Tsk tsk, the exciting scene is about to unfold, we can't miss it just because we can't go in!!!]

Yuwen Lan: "..."

To have him get off and follow, how big of a face would that give Zhao Chengwen?

He instructed out the window, "Chang Feng, go take a look."

Someone immediately complied and went in the direction Zhao Chengwen had gone.

After waiting for a while, someone reported from outside the window, "Master, the son-in-law went into a courtyard inside. A young woman came out to greet him, and as soon as they met, he embraced her and went into the room. Besides them, there were two maids and an old woman."

Yanshu thought to herself, [A young woman? Can't tell if this is number two or three or four. It's a pity I can't see it with my own eyes.]

Yuwen Lan: "..."

Glancing at her, he said, "Remember this place, keep someone watching, and see how often he comes."

A voice outside acknowledged the order.

With that, he was about to leave.

However, at that moment, they saw Zhao Chengwen come out again.

Yanshu: [??? So quick? Is this prince consort so... lacking in stamina?]

Yuwen Lan: "???"

What stamina?

This girl!

Before he could speak, they saw Zhao Chengwen get back into his carriage and continue forward.

Yanshu's eyes lit up, and she quickly said to Yuwen Lan, "Oh, it seems the prince consort doesn't intend to go back yet."

How could Yuwen Lan not know what she was thinking? He instructed the coachman again, "Continue following."

The coachman complied and continued driving.

After another series of twists and turns, the carriage stopped again. This time, Zhao Chengwen got off and went into another courtyard.

Yuwen Lan again sent a secret guard to investigate.

Before long, the secret guard came back to report, "The son-in-law went to a place with a young woman and two young children this time. The older one is four or five, the younger one is two or three. There are about six servants."

Yanshu feigned surprise and said, "There are even two children? What's going on here?"

[This must be the concubine, otherwise the others couldn't have children this old.]

Yuwen Lan glanced at her, almost wanting to tell her that he already knew what was going on with Zhao Chengwen, and she didn't need to pretend anymore.

But he held back and only instructed the secret guard outside the window, "Keep someone watching this place too."

The secret guard acknowledged.

After a while, they saw Zhao Chengwen come out again, get into his carriage, and continue forward without turning back.

Yanshu rubbed her hands together, ready to continue following and enjoying the drama.

Hehe, let's see how many places this man can go in one night.

However, Yuwen Lan only told the secret guard to follow him, while instructing the coachman to return to the palace.

Yanshu, still unsatisfied, immediately asked, "Your Majesty doesn't want to keep following and watching? He might go to many more places tonight!"

[This is her first time witnessing gossip in person!!! It's so frustrating not to see it through to the end!!!]

However, Yuwen Lan asked her with a half-smile, "Could it be that you knew about this beforehand?"

Yanshu choked, hurriedly saying, "Your Majesty jest. I spend all my days in the palace, and today is the first time I've toured the capital. How could I know about the prince consort's affairs?"

But Yuwen Lan asked her again, "If that's the case, how do you know he will go to many more places?"

Yanshu stubbornly said, "Because... because I see that the prince consort seems full of energy. After all, it's rare for him to come out, so I thought he wouldn't go back until he's had his fill of fun, right?"

Yuwen Lan: "???"

Had his fill of fun?

This girl is simply!

Before he could say anything, he heard her think to herself, [And here I thought this man was something special! Judging by what just happened, he was in and out of that courtyard in less than the time it takes to drink two cups of tea. Looks like he's just a novice, no wonder the Eldest Princess is always out having fun.]

Yuwen Lan: "???"

What?

Novice???

But she wasn't finished.

[And he's keeping so many mistresses with skills like that? Tsk, it's truly a case of having more ambition than ability!]

Yuwen Lan: "???"

More ambition than ability???

Where did she learn all these phrases!!!

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